ClintIsWritingShit Bend | Poems & Stories by Clint Haugen

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My name is Clint Haugen. I am a writer living in Bend, Oregon. Subscribe to the blog for tons of free content. Thank you for your time and attention.

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Available November 16th

Something So Pathetically Human That No A.I. Could Write It

Extreme vulgarity May be needed In this fight Against A.I. writing's This is where I can be of use. A style so vulgar So grotesque No...

Clint Haugen

Mar 23, 20231 min read

Coffee, AA And A TED talk

My date Was in recovery She stopped drinking 2 years ago I told her I was proud of her And then asked a few questions about AA Infinite...

Clint Haugen

Mar 20, 20232 min read

Why The World Doesn't Change

We were supposed to change the world, but instead, the world changed us. Changing the world ended up being . . . well, a lot of work. We...

Clint Haugen

Mar 19, 20231 min read

It's Just A Tool

The psyche Isn’t so simple You can’t pop it Like a pimple You can’t see it Like a wound You can’t feel it Like starvation You can’t grab...

Clint Haugen

Mar 19, 20231 min read

To Be A Man

I learned to be a man by how the world raised me. Suffer in silence they said. Men had their time in the sun. Now, you must concede to...

Clint Haugen

Mar 17, 20231 min read

Daylight Savings Makes Me Sick

We sprang forward And they took An hour from us Those bastards. When we fell back We never changed our clocks in the house It was Always...

Clint Haugen

Mar 15, 20231 min read

I'll Be Your Villain

Imagine if the guy That could whoop your ass Could also Write erotica And poetry Maybe even A novel or two? How much would you hate him?...

Clint Haugen

Mar 15, 20231 min read

A Perfect Moment Turned Into Erotica For Fetlife

I had taken her through an introduction session at my work a few days before, but she didn’t sign up for a membership. But here she was,...

Clint Haugen

Mar 15, 20234 min read

Interview

I had a job interview earlier today And after it was over I was left Not wanting the job I had been excited about before That’s not how...

Clint Haugen

Mar 13, 20231 min read

Renting

The things that we think that we own, we are really just renting. They will either break, and we will have to rent something new, or we...

Clint Haugen

Mar 13, 20232 min read

Don't Meet Your Heroes

Once more Once more Once more Once more Once more Once more And then Twice more A different more A different once Something new A goal An...

Clint Haugen

Mar 12, 20232 min read

Cheating The Angel's

She told me, as she laid naked in my bed, that her little grandma used to be covered in freckles, and she used to tell her that they were...

Clint Haugen

Mar 11, 20231 min read

Almost Dead

I am not that attached to the photograph. Capturing a moment in time with a fake laugh. “Hold this pose. Don’t worry, we’ll edit your...

Clint Haugen

Mar 11, 20231 min read

I Also Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

I wonder what I’ll regret when I get old . . . An inclining creeps up That what I won’t regret Is all of the nights going out for drinks...

Clint Haugen

Mar 7, 20231 min read

A Weed Or A Flower?

Today seems like a good day To try to have A good day Why not? Why not try to make it that way? When you can choose Choose to be open to...

Clint Haugen

Mar 6, 20231 min read

The Butterfly Doesn't See It's Wings

Monday morning When I try To Set my sails In a direction For the week I try To nudge my ship Along the sea On Monday morning I try to...

Clint Haugen

Mar 6, 20231 min read

Alone On The Throne

Alone on the throne Is no place To be If you want to be something like Happy Alone on the throne Is where america Wants you to be Alone...

Clint Haugen

Mar 4, 20231 min read

The Wandering Eyes Of A Hopeless Fool

The wandering eyes of a hopeless fool looking for love when really we just needs more hobbies He looks and looks everywhere but inward...

Clint Haugen

Mar 4, 20231 min read

This Is The Only Promise I'll Ever Make To You

I’ve always been Curious What would happen If I never Gave up. I’ve always wanted to see What I would become. So I keep trying Over and...

Clint Haugen

Mar 1, 20231 min read

The Nice Guy

This guy we were with earlier Was buying me drinks And laughing at my jokes But now He was in handcuffs On the side of the street With a...

Clint Haugen

Feb 26, 20231 min read

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Welcome to clintiswritingshit.com!

Subscribe Form

Click on the book below to purchase

Available November 16th

Something So Pathetically Human That No A.I. Could Write It

Coffee, AA And A TED talk

Why The World Doesn't Change

It's Just A Tool

To Be A Man

Daylight Savings Makes Me Sick

I'll Be Your Villain

A Perfect Moment Turned Into Erotica For Fetlife

Interview

Renting

Don't Meet Your Heroes

Cheating The Angel's

Almost Dead

I Also Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

A Weed Or A Flower?

The Butterfly Doesn't See It's Wings

Alone On The Throne

The Wandering Eyes Of A Hopeless Fool

This Is The Only Promise I'll Ever Make To You

The Nice Guy