Chewing Their Way Out

I pushed her away

When we were getting close

Because I got

Scared again

And now

She is with her ex

And she doesn’t text

I asked for space

And that’s what I got

But the thought

Of her with him

Feels like spiders in my stomach

Chewing their way out

Their venom spreads

And races up my veins

Into my heart

And that’s when

It shrivels up

Half its size

And with each heartbeat

I feel the heat

And now

I regret it

Now, I wish she could come over

But he flew across the country just for her

And I took her for granted

So, he gets her this week

That’s only fair, I guess. . .

(this is where I deleted a line so i won’t hurt her when she reads this)

But this week

I miss her smile

And her smell

And I could tell

That I fell

For her

And it was when I was falling

That I pulled the parachute

And bailed.

Heights and love have always scared me.

But not spiders.

No, not spiders

They can snack on my stomach.

CH 12/5/24