I fucking hate you You broke me     I trusted you And you broke my trust    Your responsibility was to me Not to him     Your commitment was to me Not to him     You were supposed to fight for us Not for him     You promised me over and over again That you were done with him     You fucking liar You fucking witch      You are not a good person No, you are a terrible person You are a god damn mess      And then you tried to pull me back in After killing me     You fucking f

She told me that in the middle of the night In the darkness She’ll wake up and panic Reaching out of her dog Who isn’t there in her bed with her anymore Five days in a psych ward Her ex boyfriend called it in  They broke into her apartment  Drugged her And took her to the psych ward against her will And when she told me about how she started waking up in the middle of night while she was locked in there Reaching out into the cold darkness in a state of pure panic I wondered i

It would be for the best   If I let you go  Because now I hate poetry     I hate music I hate books     I hate movies I hate chess     I hate the guitar I hate the dragonfly     And I hate the stars They all constantly remind me of you     I hate my life right now I am haunted by you     And what you did to me I ache    I always ache You did this to me    This is your responsibility  You lied    And tried to hide Your true self    And even after I accepted you And forgave you

I drink some whiskey  As I wait To meet a lady  She's young  And sexy And I'm not really ready  I just told my ex yesterday  That I’d stay steady And wait for her  But this lady is really sexy  Like, Really really  sexy And she hit me  up Telling me she's going out And we should link up I told her I'll buy her a drink, Which is about all I can afford right now I really hope she isn't smart Or into art Or into books Or music  I really don't want to love again I'd rather not fa

Hey kid You're alright  You're just fine Everything will work out  You've done great so far Be proud See your power See your influence  You are enough  You are worthy  Light shines out of you  Joy is natural  Your smile is real You are it, kid You are the one You are the main character of this story  This existence is Your life Your story Don't forget that Your life Your story Write a good one You can let go of all that pain you are holding onto Hey kid, take a deep breath wi

The mind is not meant for peace. The mind is meant to think. Peace is not a function of the mind. That's not what it has evolved into.  The mind evolved to keep you alive.  Watch a bird for a few minutes . . .     See how they are constantly watching out for a predator?      They are constantly on the move,      never getting a second of peace,       always in danger—        forever scanning for danger. That's your mind.     That's its evolutionary design.      It scans for d

A little blonde boy sprints down the soccer field, bee-lining it straight to the ball rolling in front of him. He catches up to it and gives it a solid kick. It's a goal. The Red team celebrates. The Blue team pouts. I watch from the sidelines,  and seeing my younger self smile like this brings me a little joy, despite the sea of razor blades and bad dreams  I am currently swimming through.  My younger self steals the ball, and passes it up the field. He sprints down the othe

Broken bones Broken dreams Broken hearts Broken homes Still skipping meals Still shopping for deals Fading friends 33 years old And I begin again Still smoking too much Always in a rush Missing pieces of my soul I have holes Still alive Still alone Drinking liquor Because I miss her But the whiskey Whispers to me Saying, ‘ You’ll love her until you reach the end of Infinity .’ So I swim through outer space, stopping to chat with the stars ‘ Just how far can love go? Do you kn

An old man and woman    sit down at the table to my left.       They pull out the chess board         and play a game. I can’t help but feel as if they are her and I in a different timeline. Don’t ask me why.  It was probably inappropriate, but I snapped a picture of the adorable old couple, just in case I want to share these two with my ex. But she and I don’t even text.  The table must’ve been wobbly,    because they move their game and coffee over to the next table,       

This life started when I met her. Whoever I was before that is long gone. That life is over. That person is dead.  Who I am now, I don't know. What I am turning into is a mystery to me.  She doesn't know me, she only knows the me that knows her.  She doesn't know the real me.  She can't see my scars.  She can't feel my history.  Broken homes.  Broken bones. Broken hearts.  Broken dreams.  The people that leave . . . And me, keeping everyone at a distance.  Making them laugh,

Tell me stories from when you were a kid. And tell me how’d you live if you didn’t have to pay rent. Tell me about the injustices you see. And tell me where you turn to for creativity. Tell me what it was that hurt you so deeply. And tell me who you’d like to be. Show me your vices, don’t ever hide them. Show me cracks in your soul. And how you’ve grown. Tell me what you think about reality. And tell me what you think your dreams mean. Tell me you hate me. And tell me you lov

You don't want to choose me But you don't want to lose me So you feed me some breadcrumbs  And I eat them up until I become numb You pushed me away But we both know deep down  you wanted me to stay I couldn't fight for us  after you broke our trust  I swear some day  our love will decay and rust It'll rot away some day I swear  that might be true I'm trying to believe  it'll all fade away  some day . . . You don't want to choose me But you don't want to lose me All while  som

Don’t you dare grieve me while I am still here    They’ll be plenty of time for that when I’m gone  Love me today    Ask me to stay      Don’t grieve me while I am still alive If you miss me, tell me    If you love me, let me know it     If you care for me, show it Kiss me today    While I still breathe      Believe in you and me  Grieve me when I am dead    Never grieve me while I still love you Never miss me when you can kiss me     Never doubt me while my heart still beats

And then she played her  ‘Uno Reverse’ card on me and I started to realize  how terrible it is to have your lover write  heartbroken poetry  about you. She always did  beat me at that game. Uno. And, She always did  write better poetry than I.  At least I am better at holding onto hope  when I should let go  then she is . . .  Draw Four, Sucka.  CH 1/31/26

I won’t give up on you I’ll stay strong    And hold on I will face my fears     And slay the dragons inside of me  Even when no one else believes      I won’t give up on you No, not you     I will fight for us And trust in you     Always I will always love you    So I’ll carry on And hold onto you      To love the hell out of you is all I want to do      I won’t give up on us I have more in me to give      We have more life to live  You and me      we were meant to be So I’ll

The soul Of a good man     Lingers around her Refusing to go to the afterlife     Because He loves her    So he stays here, on earth Waiting for her       He watches her grieve him He watches her cry     He watches her carry on And he watches her move on     She eventually finds someone new And starts to forget about the man she once knew     He watches her get married And divorced 7 years later      He watches her cry He watches her carry on    He watches her wander around t

Don’t let fear erode your soul until you don’t know who you are anymore. Don’t let fear in, it’ll rage against  the love you have within. Don’t let fear anywhere near your heart, it’ll kill your dreams  before they even begin. And don’t let fear exist in places it shouldn’t, it’ll hide in corners of your unconscious  waiting for you to stumble again. Fear is a limitation  that we so often apply to ourselves. And if you can create it all by yourself, you can also destroy it. 

I love her.  I really do.  I love her so much.  It’s all I presently know about myself.  I love her and I want to tell her that once every hour for the rest of my life.  I love her.  I really do.  Nothing is more true.  I don’t need her,  But I want her.  I want her more than I want anything else.  I love her. I really do.  It’s almost all I can feel right now.  But, What is love? What is it? . . . Do you know? . . . Well, I thought about it a little bit. And here's what I ca

7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 Octillion) atoms    zip around in your body making up  you. 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms, all of them with a nucleus at the center—the atoms ‘sun’, with several electrons orbiting it—the atoms ‘planets’; the atom mimics our solar system; or, our solar system mimics the atom. Which one came first again? I forget . . . And those 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms that presently make up your idea of your ‘self’ as

A good man Got taken away yesterday In an Ice van He had kids He had a job He had neighbors he helped He had grandparents that loved him He was not a violent criminal Let me repeat that again for those that have their head so far up their ass all they can see is red. He was a good man. He had kids. And he was not a violent criminal.  A young lady Told me her story About her abusive father in Mexico And how her mother  Saved up money for years To hire ‘Coyete’  To get her and