Chapter 1 God was napping again. It was 10:52 in the morning—in ‘Heaven Time’—and God was already back asleep. God had given up on all of the timelines a long, long time ago, and now God was waiting for the few remaining timelines to fizzle out.  In every single universe God created for ‘life’, ‘life’ found a way to cause its own extinction. If God gave ‘life’ the opportunity for free-will—somehow, in some unfathomable way—’life’ chose poison. Sometimes, it was a slow dea

All the Dragonflies died.  They die every winter.  They spend years underwater as little tadpole looking things, before crawling out of the water, sprouting wings, just to fly for a few weeks, before they die.  So, when a Dragonfly approached him, saying, “Imagine her as happy,” he thought he had gone mad.  He rubbed his eyes to double check he wasn’t seeing things, before taking his finger and clearing out the wax in his ears.  The Dragonfly hoovered in front of his eyes.  H

“The version in my head of her is a masterpiece of selective memory.”  Whoa, who said that? . . . “I did.” Whoa. Who are you? “I am you.” No. I am me. “You are also you.” What? Dude, WHAT is going on? Why is your voice in my head? “I am you.” Stop saying that!  “ You  are the voice inside of my  head.” No, no, no. That’s not right. Switch back with me!  “The version in my head of her is a masterpiece of selective memory.”  Stop saying that, too! Who the hell are you?? “I am–”

75 years, if we are lucky. 75 summers. 75 Christmases. 75 birthdays. 75 springs. That's all we get. It's not much time. This earth is 14.2 billion years old, And we get blessed with just 75 years on it.  Don't waste a second. Become present. Bring yourself right here, right now. Don't waste it. Embrace it. This is all we get. The present is all there is. We only get 75 summers.  The only way out is through. It’s your job to make the best out of the time you’ve been blessed wi

The lady told him about ‘Psychic Sex’,     after she told him how that morning she sent her ex a risky text,    promising to stay celibate until he was ready for her. She told him that her ex enters her dreams at night   just to fuck her. She told him that she knows  her ex is thinking about her     when he has sex with someone else.         She can feel  it, she said. And she told him that she can enter her ex’s unconscious,     and have ‘Psychic Sex’ with him whenever she w

A genuine apology, the strength to forgive the unforgivable,  combined with the acceptance of the things that are out of our control, mixed with letting it all go, And, Poof! everything feels like it'll be alright. All of a sudden, there's light again.  There’s life again.  The weight is gone. The pressure has faded. The clouds look like paintings again. The mountains speak. The trees breathe. The sun shines. Smiles feel real. Nothing is forced. Nothing is faked.  From the da

We used to stay on the phone  talking to each other for hours. And when I would get too tired,  despite the two hour time difference between us,  and try to get off the phone to get some sleep,  she’d shout, “sleep strike!”, keeping me awake  to talk for a few minutes longer.  I love my sleep,  but those two words ended up becoming my favorite two words a person could piece together. “Sleep strike!” Over and over again, every night, “Sleep strike!”  I’d fall asleep so content

The transmutation of someone else’s pain into:  light,     Into love,       Into art, It is a new concept for me.     To love unconditionally; To– . . . I don’t have this in me anymore.     I am not a poet any longer.  I am not a writer.     I am not a fighter.  I am not a father.      I am not a lover.  I am barely a friend.      I am hardly an Uncle.  And I am a terrible son.      I don’t know what I am.     I don’t know who I am.  I don’t have a plan.      The transmutatio

The little girl asked me if I was sad.    “Why do you ask?” I asked her back. “Because you never smile or laugh. You seem so sad.”     I took a moment, realized she was right, and said, “Yes, I am sad.” “How come?” she asked, looking up at me sincerely, like only kids do.       “Because I lost someone I love,” I said, feeling as if I had no choice but to be honest with the six year old.       She hugged me. “I’m sorry,” she said.  “I’ll be okay some day.”                A you

“Hello, Owen. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. Dying takes up most of my time these days. I am only kidding. Dying isn’t so bad. It is actually extremely boring. Once you realize all the mistakes you’ve made in your life, dying gets incredibly dull. I am just waiting for the big day now. Ever since I’ve gotten my diagnosis, I have felt pulled to put space between us. You do not need to grieve anyone else. Forget about me, Owen. That’s the best thing you c

“Hey, Doc, it’s me, Owen. Just checking in again. It’s been awhile since we last spoke. Listen, I have to talk to someone. It happened again, Doc. I fell in love. I really thought she was the one. I felt it in my soul. She still lives in my mind and bones. You know how it goes . . . But it really did happen again. And I fucked it all up. I am unlovable. I am not capable of being in a relationship. I am so shit at loving someone. I am terrible at trusting someone. I love from

A million tiny orange and black butterflies surrounded us     As we walked to the waterfall         On top of a mountain           The most beautiful woman in the world             Held my hand in hers               As the butterflies scattered before we stepped on them It was a perfect day     The best day        The sun was shining          She was laughing and smiling  Everything was aligning     For love to bloom  And bloom it did, bright, warm and big Up in the mountains

If I could I would     apologize          for the lies.   If I could     I would       tell her that I am sorry         for pushing her away.     If I could       I would         call her        and explain       that I can still fall for her;       every time she pulls me back in,          I fall more in love with her,          and when she pulls away,            my love evaporates. It had to end.    It had to.     I had to push her away.    I just wish now I could say     

The weight is gone.  The pressure has  faded away.  The soul tie  has been severed.  I am free.  I am almost  happy.  My energy has  come back to me.  My attention is back on what fulfills me.  I am finally  free.  I spent a full year locked up.  I spent a full year in my head.  I reckon I am dead.  It sure feels like I died.  Everything I thought I was—everything I wanted to become—it’s gone.  Everything I thought I knew  about life isn’t true.  Everything I ever saw  was ju

The sad love songs don’t sound as sad anymore.       They don’t sting like they used to.         I feel bad for the fool who falls in love.           And I condemn those that pour their heartbreak into their art.            Silly attention seeking fools.  Music talks to us in languages we can’t speak yet.      So do our feelings.       So do our bodies.         So does our unconscious.            So does love.             So does the universe.               So does God. Somet

The Water Monkey     rode the Fire Horse       down to hell       to get his lady back. Together    the two opposite forces       fought against fate. Ever since their first date,     the Water Monkey and his love were destined to suffer.       When the snake         bit her in the face,         the Water Monkey raged against his cage.          Overwhelmed by seeing his love in pain,           he promised to find a way            to free her from the devil’s maze. Along the w

An uninspired line     The heart barely beats before it flatlines       Holding onto time with both hands       A hollow soul        Meant for so much more The sidewalks crack      Everything falls apart       We don’t get our fading seconds back The fire eventually dies     Warmth turns cold       A coward tries to be bold A new song    A new face     A new hope      Before it all breaks She pushes     He pulls Then he pulls    And she pushes  Before it rains     An uninspir

Don’t you dare grieve me while I am still here    They’ll be plenty of time for that when I’m gone  Love me today    Ask me to stay      Don’t grieve me while I am still alive If you miss me, tell me    If you love me, let me know it     If you care for me, show it Kiss me today    While I still breathe      Believe in you and me  Grieve me when I am dead    Never grieve me while I still love you Never miss me when you can kiss me     Never doubt me while my heart still beats

Don’t let fear erode your soul until you don’t know who you are anymore. Don’t let fear in, it’ll rage against  the love you have within. Don’t let fear anywhere near your heart, it’ll kill your dreams  before they even begin. And don’t let fear exist in places it shouldn’t, it’ll hide in corners of your unconscious  waiting for you to stumble again. Fear is a limitation  that we so often apply to ourselves. And if you can create it all by yourself, you can also destroy it. 

7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (7 Octillion) atoms    zip around in your body making up  you. 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms, all of them with a nucleus at the center—the atoms ‘sun’, with several electrons orbiting it—the atoms ‘planets’; the atom mimics our solar system; or, our solar system mimics the atom. Which one came first again? I forget . . . And those 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 atoms that presently make up your idea of your ‘self’ as