We have the least clear lens to look at our own psyche through
We can do ‘mental gymnastics’ to prove our point to ourselves
We’ll find the answers we are looking for
But only the answers that we accept as acceptable by our own standards
You are the problem
You are the variable that distorts the lens
You are the receiver and the omitter
But you cannot see you
You may not even know you
You may think you do
You may of told yourself stories about who you are
Probably making yourself the hero or the victim
Doing your ‘mental gymnastics’ however you need too
In order to make sure the story sheds a good light on you.
You purposely block out your malice
It’s unacceptable by your own standards
You purposely block out your own narcissism
And accuse the rest of the world of being narcissus.
You hope they drown in their own reflection.
But you can’t let yourself know that you hope this,
Your receiver doesn’t pick up the real truths about who you are
It is set to a different frequency
Unable to receive a negative true thought about who you are
You are in denial
A mixture of undealt trauma
And through that trama
Morals were born
Lines were set
Sides were chosen
Others were wrong
While you were right
You set up your own morals so they would fit who you are
Or even worse
You inherited your morals from others without thinking them through
There's nothing wrong with inheriting good morals from good people
Don't get me wrong there
But think
Makesure
Double check
Know why you believe what you believe
Know why you take a stand on certain things
Reflect on good and evil
And remember
You already set up the rules for what those are,
making sure you were on the side of good
You’ve already distorted the lens
You’ve already set up the moral rules
But the problem becomes
You move those goalpost
Making sure your kick always goes down the middle
Making sure you are always on the good
The christian really nailed this one
And you do this all the time too
But in order to live with the mistakes you make
You just have to ask for forgiveness
That seems like a free-pass to me
A ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card
Just ask forgiveness? And poof
All is forgiven
And you can continue telling yourself stories where you are the good guy
Where you are the hero
You can keep moving those goalpost
You can keep distorting the lens
And go on
Believing whatever story you have to tell yourself
However you have to rationalize it
To make sure
You
Are
A
Good
person
.
The lies we tell ourselves are so subtle to us but so obvious to others
And how quick we are to judge the obvious.
-C.H.