Why I Try

What if I don’t make it?

What then?

What happens to my life?

Will I stay broke?

Will I have wasted my time?

Will I fade away unnoticed?

All that time spent typing,

all that time spent fighting,

all that time waiting,

waiting for the work to pay off,

will it never come?

What if I never settle down with one woman?

What then?

What if I never fall in love again?

What then?

What if my potential is never filled,

And I piss it all away?

What then?

What if I die soon?

What then?

What if I had a chance?

What if I was one of the lucky ones?

Talented

and

gifted

but,

afraid.

What then?

What if I never did enough?

What if I watched too much T.V.?

Took too many naps?

Smoked too much weed?

What then?

What will the name,

Clint Haugen,

mean to anyone?

To anything?

Nothing.

The answer is nothing.

No one will know

and nothing will change.

So what choice do I really have?

I write and I fight

mostly because

I don’t know what else to do.

-C.H.