I keep looking to the opening door,
hoping to see you walk in.
It’d be a miracle if you did.
Its an impulse-
an instinct.
Something rooted in my subconscious.
A parasite that lives rent free in there.
The door opens
and my head snaps.
I want more then anything,
to see you today.
I might have to be the one who reaches out,
but I won’t.
I can’t.
Not unless,
I get really really
drunk.
We’ll see.
I don’t feel much potential in anyone else I meet,
only,
in you
The door opens again.
I resist the urge to snap my head
but eventually,
curiosity wins.
The ‘what if’,
beats me.
Once again,
it isn’t you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my neck,
whipping it around so many times,
to see someone
who isn’t you.
The drunker I get,
the more the loneliness rains down from the gray sky
and hits my face.
I should stop while I am ahead
or before I give myself
some serious whiplash.
-C.H.