Adam and Eve lived in paradise
A perfect world
They had everything they needed
Everything except for knowledge
They choose the fruit of knowledge over paradise
And thank fucking god they did.
Next came Cain
and his brother
Cain showed us what human nature could become
There was a flood killing almost everyone
Noah, his ark and the animals
Because we had become corrupt
Sinners
Aren't we all sinners?
God told Abraham to kill his son
As a test of faith
What a fun test
David started off pretty neat
He landed a solid shot on Goliath
Then he traded the foreskin of 100 men for his wife
then
he committed adultery
And killed his lovers husband
His son’s plotted to overthrow him
They don’t talk about that part in Sunday school
Micheal the Archangel and the Devil
They had beef over the body of Dead Moses
Peter was crucified by Nero
God had a bet with the Devil
About Job
A nice fella
Full of faith
The Devil fucked him
Fucked him hard
The man’s whole life was destroyed
He stayed true to god
But he lost his family
His job
His health
But hey
Atleast god won his bet
Take that Satan
Elijah killed a bunch of kids
Because they called him bald
He asked God to kill them for him
And God sent bears
Those bears fucked up those kids
Baldy got his revenge
And God won again
Remember the shit Moses’s Egypt went through?
The plagues?
The Locust?
The bloody rivers?
The first born kids being killed?
The blood on the doors to prevent the killings?
Just another Monday for God
Lot
Well he was drugged
And then
He was rapped
By his own daughters
Sheesh
God had a son
A real one
And
He was betrayed by friends
Forced to wear a crown of thorns
And nailed to a cross
We all know this story though
We have holidays about it
And let's not forget about the ending. Everything up in flames.
Hell brought to earth
Buddha also left his paradise in the search of knowledge
It makes you think
What was in that God Damn fruit that Adam and his girl ate?
What was the price of knowledge?
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