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The Fighter Who Didn't Fight

Updated: Nov 14, 2021

I knew I wasn’t a writer

I was a fighter

I still am



Torn hamstring

A bad tear

It had been 12 weeks

I had gotten Covid 4 days after the tear

I was in bed for 12 days

4 days of being sick

And 8 days of isolation

It wasn’t a bad case of Coivd

Worse than others


Just a fever

And a lot of sleep


My dog died

I drank

A lot

And ate

A lot

And cried

A lot

I wrote as an outlet

Just like I did when she had broken me

The words poured out


They weren’t good words

I was often drunk when I wrote them

I was often drunk in general

I was still working out the upper body


At Least I was


My gym caught on fire

Not my fighting gym

But my gym that I lifted and did cardio

The damn sauna man

I was getting out of shape

I could feel it

I could see it

My physique was changing

And it was changing fast

The damn hamstring wouldn’t heal

I started to read more

A lot more








A few of the greats

I listened to lectures

Lectures on psychology


On philosophy

I liked existentialism



It was all just to pass the time

The time without training

I wasn’t an intellect though

I just liked to learn about that stuff

I wasn’t a writer

Not yet

I was a fighter

I could still feel it

Feel it deep in my bones

I had spent a million hours perfecting my craft

The day I tore my hamstring

I had just gotten done doing an intense hour of kickboxing sparring

I felt great

Maybe the best I’d ever felt

I was seeing everything







Everything was landing

And I was hardly hit

My cardio was great

I always kept a great pace


One of my teammates complimented me

He said,

‘dude, watching you fight is like watching art’

Absolute music to my ears

That's exactly what it was

That's what I wanted others to see

My art

It was the roconization that I had longed for

The 10 years of work was paying off

30 minutes later

Doing jujitsu

The hamstring went

It was my own fault too

I swear I can still hear the pop

I can still feel it

Injuries were all apart of the game

God it feels like a lifetime ago now

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