Prettier Women and an Average life
Updated: Nov 14, 2021
It was a normal life
Writing about the extraordinary would’ve been a lie
I didn’t know that part of existence
It didn’t seem real
Like a myth
A myth I was supposed to believe in
I had been poor
I lived 20 miles away from my childhood home
I’d hardly explored
I’d hardly experienced
I’d hardly loved
I’d hardly fucked
I’d hardly grieved
There were a lot of rich whites where I lived now
My childhood town was different
I grew up with diversity
But
I left it
I left it for prettier women
I liked living around pretty women
It made it feel like there was possibility everywhere
Possibility to love
Possibility to fuck
Either or was fine with me
My friends were normal
My family was normal
My life was normal
Vanilla
Someone once said that they had expected me to be Vanilla
After meeting me for all of 30 minutes
She went on to say I was spicy
Not vanilla
Whatever that meant
I did feel different
Different than the others my age
I thought differently
I saw the grays
Where everyone else saw black and white
I saw questions
Where others saw answers
I felt like an outcast
A lone survivor
A protector of a type of thinking
The free way of thinking
A warrior of the spirit
The human spirit
The part of myself I believed in
Despite the normal life
Despite the poor life
The uneventful weeks and years
Despite feeling like an outsider
I still felt like I could make it
Somehow
I felt like I could touch the extraordinary
I just had to keep trying
Maybe I was ahead of my time?
The great writers and thinkers usually were
Maybe I was shit though
Maybe I thought too highly of myself
Of my mind
Maybe it was still developing
Still learning
Still exploring
Maybe I needed that life experience?
Well
Fuck it
I was going to keep drinking and keep writing