Please Know

“Humility and forgiveness are the antidotes to shame.”

Pulling out my hair

     Holding in a silent scream

Tears rushing down in a steady stream

I can’t breathe 

Drowning in a sea I can’t see, only feel

This can’t be real

This can’t be over

She meant everything to me 

Freezing

Shivering 

This is not where I belong

Holding on

Holding my breath

Terrified of what comes next

Guilt drags me down

Pride on display, like a crown 

Fear eats at the flesh

Until there is nothing left 

I was okay pretending to be okay 

      Until Thursday

And then something inside of me broke

People died

And I want to hide inside of myself

And only let her in

I want to hold onto what I love

     And hope

But there is nothing here but dust and air 

Don’t let me go

I know we are both broke

     But

Don’t let me go 

I used to live alone

Now

      I can’t do this alone

Not after what I’ve been shown

So please know

I am sorry.

I was wrong. I messed up. But I love you. 

CH 10/20/26