Opposite Sides

It’s not fair that she has access to me 

through shitty poetry

and I have

nothing.

This voice

This poetry

It isn’t me

It is a copy I made in 2013

The original became a fighter

But I became a writer

He broke his body

But I broke my mind 

And she broke the world’s heart

Let me go, Love 

Before shitty poetry becomes

The only thread holding us 

It can’t fix this

It was meant to grieve

It was meant to destroy who I used to be 

It was meant to admire

It can’t save such a beautiful thing 

I turn too many stories into tragedies 

We’ve done enough bleeding

We feel everything, just at different times, just through different eyes

Unable to trust the fleeting feelings

Because 

     every feeling

      when stated confidently 

          eventually 

              becomes a lie 

    feelings fly

               but people can choose to stay, 

                  can’t they?

. . .

The almost supernatural ability to avoid anything that might unsettle her

And you, dude,

You have the almost supernatural ability to think your way into misery 

Two shadows

Intertwined 

Dancing together 

Opposites sides         of the same thing

It was never going to be easy 

If she wants to run away from the place she brought you, 

let her run

Free her soul

And you

You turn and face the monster you can finally see clearly

Feel all the fear you buried deep in your body

You lost her because you wanted to be sure she’d stay

It doesn’t work that way, my friend,

She ran away

You cannot cage a free thing and expect her to be okay

You cannot make love a guarantee just because your hurting 

Let her breathe

Let her be a free thing

And if she chooses you

And you forgive her and she forgives you

Well, that’s a blessing 

Opposite sides

    Of the same thing.

CH 11/5/26