Monday

Wednesday or Sunday? What day is it again?

. . .Thursday?? Huh. Strange. Well, what’s the date?

. . . What?? Already? Sheesh! What happened to summer?

. . . Well, someone stole my summer this year, I just can’t remember who . . .

Yesterday it was May and you say today is October 30th? No way.

. . . Have I been dreaming? Did I sleep my summer away?

Wait, what’s the year? . . .

Oh shit. 

That would make me 44.

I feel old. I used to feel bold. Now I am cold and old. What happened?

 . . .

I was napping! It’s not my fault I was so tired! I was so busy trying to survive! I needed more time! I did! It wasn’t enough . . . I was never enough. 

What a beautiful Autumn this is, though. 

What am I doing today? . . .

Aye, that isn’t too bad. How’s my love life? Did I fall in love and get married? Did I ever meet my best friend?

. . . 

Oh . . . 

I did that?

. . .

Yikes. I always dreamt of real love and you are telling me I had it and I pissed it away?

 . . . 

Why did I do that? . . . Well she couldn’t have loved me if she did that to me, could she?

. . . I see. 

Well, shit. I don’t like this. This isn’t me. Are you telling me I gave up on my dreams? I pushed away the only woman that’s ever loved me? . . . A spiraling ball of anxiety?! Screw you, dude. I am not. Tell me, was she hot? . . .

Dammit. 

What was her soul like? Did she read? Did she have good taste in music? Was she worth it?

 . . .

Fuck. 

What do we do now? 

 . . .

Okay. I’ll try. 

But first,

I think I’ll go back in time.

CH 10/24/26