So many words were left unspoken.
I never told you how I felt.
I felt everything a person could feel.
I thought we would have more time together.
Back then I thought God put you in my life for a reason.
You were the reason I started to believe in him again in the first place.
I was absolutely sure you were meant to be with me.
I thought it was all part of a bigger plan.
You haven't got a clue on the lasting impact you’ve had on my life.
You may never know.
I might never have the courage to tell you.
I used to promise myself that the next time I ran into you,
I’d tell you everything.
I broke that promise to myself every time I did see you.
Too many words were left unspoken.
It's been awhile since I’ve seen you.
My family took me out to lunch to celebrate my birthday five months ago.
I saw you then.
You walked by the restaurant where we ate.
You were with your boyfriend.
A small child between the two of you.
You looked so happy.
My stomach skydived.
It had been four years since our summer together.
And you still make me have a panic attack every time I see you.
We were just friends.
Never anything more.
I think I kissed you once.
We were drunk.
Getting driven around by a sober friend after a party
During the party, you were sad that it wasn’t working out with a good friend of mine, another coworker of ours.
You guys had a thing for two weeks
He got weird
He didn’t know he had a diamond in you
I was sad about a coworker that I was crushing on too
We were talking about it
Sitting down on a stairwell
Sharing our feelings
You rested your head on my shoulder
In that moment I knew
I knew you were someone special.
The kiss though,
The alcohol makes the memory fuzzy.
I never cared about a kiss.
Just being friends with you was enough to drive me crazy.
I was attracted to you,
I respected you too much to ever make a move like that.
And I was too scared
A scared little bitch
prayed to a God I didn’t even know if I really believed in
I prayed that I might run into you.
For years I did this.
I started to wonder when I would have a day when I didn’t think of you.
If that day would ever come.
You were sweet
You were beautiful
You were funny
You were smart
You were everything I had hoped for
You gave me the feelings that I had always wanted
You made a shit job tolerable
You were better than the rest of them
I think we went on a date once
We were just friends
But it felt like the best date I had ever been on
We went to Jamba Juice after work
We talked and laughed
You had an amazing smile
You had long brown hair
And your nose was the cutest nose.
We went to Barnes and Nobles afterwards
I don’t know what gave me the idea
But I suggested we pick out a book for each other
And whatever we picked, the other had to read
I was in a phase at that point in my life
A Game Of Thrones phase
So I picked out the first book in the series for you
I was excited to give it to you
Then you gave me the book you had picked out for me
I was stunned
It was 50 Shades Of Grey
I didn’t know what to say
I read it
Read it all
It wasn’t that great
But it got me curious
I finished it for you
I wanted to stop
But you were worth her shitty writing
I should’ve taken this as a sign
That maybe you were into me
Maybe you were trying to educate me
Maybe you were getting me ready for sex with you
But sex wasn’t on my mind
Just being around you as much as I could was all I wanted
I fell for you
All of me fell for all of you
And I never fucking told you
A few weeks later and we stoped working together
You got a boyfriend shortly after
Like people do
I believed that this God would bring us together
That I didn’t have to make a move
That you and I would just become
I was so sure
I had blind faith
So I waited
I would stop by your work sometimes
To see you
You weren’t always there
But when you were
I got so nervous
I hated feeling nervous
But I loved seeing you
I never got nervous around beautiful ladies
I was naturally calm and confident around them
But not you
You broke up with that boyfriend and got another one
Four years later and you’re still with him
I don’t feel as strongly about you as I did back then
And it was only because of the Ice Queen that I stopped thinking about you every day
I’m terrified of the day when I open up my instagram and see that he purposed to you
And you said yes
I’ll definitely drink that day
I wish I could ask you a question
A question I’ve been wanting to ask you for years
‘Did you ever read Game Of Thrones?’