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Writer's pictureClint Haugen

Burdened With Purpose

I stand alone

A few feet in front of his throne

   A few hundred angels are watching us

They are chanting something I can’t understand

   But I know a crescendo when I hear one 

And something . . . is building 

  Something is happening here . . .


A fog settles in

   A warm fog

Like a blanket of joy

   Spreading out

The lighting changes

   Everything starts glowing 

Every atom radiates warmth

   Every molecule is listening, waiting 

   Every cell in my body is curious 

Something is happening here . . .

    Something is building . . .


There’s power here

    Real power

Something with the ability 

   To change everything 

I feel it flowing through me

   I feel it flowing out of me

I breathe 

   And feel peace

And then there’s a whisper in the wind

   There’s a voice in the birds

There’s a lesson in the river

   There’s knowledge in the dirt

It feels like home

   And it 

Calls my name 

    And like a magnet 

I am pulled towards it

   I fall to my knees

Salt water dripping from my eyes

   It feels like a drug trip

   The crescendo keeps building

The singing, growing louder

   And then one of them starts to clap along to the beat

And in an instant 

  All the angels are clapping 

It’s thundering

   It’s shaking the ground 

A few of them start stomping

  Still singing the strange song

 Something in the air is pulsing like a heartbeat . . .

Something is happening here . . .

Something is coming . . .


    I can’t tell if it’s been a few minutes

Or a few hours

   But I can feel the power

The song grows louder

   The clapping echoes all around me

I feel the song inside of my bones

   I feel the song inside of my soul

All at once

    They stop

And the silence

   The stillness

The moment 

   It holds

It yields 

   It pulls back 

My curious cells start zipping around in my body 

    My hairs stand on edge

The wind whispers once again

   Calling out my name 

But I feel too small to talk 

   It calls out my name again

I open my mouth to tell the voice that I am here

   But nothing comes out

And my mouth feels dry

   My tongue feels numb

I try to move my feet

   To take a step

But I am frozen 

   It calls my name again

And I feel as if I might burst open

   My soul might split my body in two

And I have no choice

   But to throw my head back

And let it out,


   “HERE I AM!!”


I shout louder than hundreds of angels singing and clapping.

    I shout it so loud that it shakes the mountains miles away.

But the voice responds with barely a whisper, almost unrecognizable from the wind,

    “. . . There you are.”

“. . . Here I am . . .” I whisper back. 

     “I’ve been waiting a long time for this team-up.”

“How long?”

    “Eternity.”

“I’m sorry it took so long.”

    “Don’t be sorry. It all happened exactly like it needed to.”

The angels start to sing their song again, only this time it is slightly different. It starts softer—happier—but, just like before, it starts to build. 

The fog grew warmer.

The glow got brighter.

The mountains and sky started to sing along with the angels. 

They all started to stomp their feet to the beat, and the most powerful bass drum in the cosmo’s shook my soul. 

I was in awe of it all. 


Something is building . . .

Something is coming . . .

Something is happening here . . .


The sky cracked open in a booming thunder.

   The voice of all voice’s spoke again; this time, not in a whisper, but in my mind; and across the valley, and over the mountains; and through all of space and time. 


It said,


“YOU! . . . YOU HAVE BEEN BURDENED WITH GLORIOUS PURPOSE!!”


And I felt it. 

I felt my purpose. 

I knew it. 

It was as clear as it could be. 

But,

Then I thought, 


Burdened?? . . . Wait, what does that mean?? Why burdened with it??



And then it all disappeared.


   

CH 8/20/24

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