Updated: Dec 9, 2021
“So where did you grow up?”
She asked me.
“The shit ass town of Madras, Oregon. But I had a pretty decent childhood there. Nothing to complain about really. I just hate going back there now”
“Why’s that?”, she said while looking directly into my eyes.
‘It sucks. I couldn’t see it when I was a kid but it really does suck ass. I had my kid blinders on and it was only when I moved away, that I realized how bad it is there.”
“Oh….” she said. She looked at the group of four young men that were sitting at the table next to us. They were drinking beer and being loud. I noticed one of them saw her looking at him. He smiled her way and got louder.
“What about you?'' I asked her. “Where did you grow up?”
“Oh I grew up here.”
I took a big drink of my whiskey coke.
“That makes sense.” I said on impulse.
“Uhh what do you mean?”
“You just seem like someone who grew up here.”
“I want to travel and see the world, maybe get a van and live out of it for awhile”
She looked back to the loud drunk man.
“Yeah, that makes sense too.”
She leaned in closer,
“You think you already have me all figured out huh?”
“No doll, I really don’t.”
She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. Her eyes fixed on me. Not quite a glare but something like that and she said,
“Well, tell me about you. I want to know more about who you are.”
“Okay, what do you want to know?”
“When is your birthday?”
“It’s sometime between January and December.” I said.
“Okay smart ass.”
“If I tell you, then are you going to diagnose me?”
“What do you mean? Diagnose you?”
“Yeah, are you going to use that astrology witchcraft that so many people believe in these days?”
“Uhhhh well yeah, what is your sign??”
Our waitress walked by at this moment and now it was my turn for my eyes to wander.
She had nice legs. I loved nice legs. I watched her walk. She could really move those hips when she walked. And that ass, now that was an ass.
“I identify as a Gryffindor.” I grabbed my drink, sat back and sucked at the straw. Shit, I was almost out again.
“What’s your deal??” I could tell she was getting frustrated with me. So many of them did. I really didn’t care though.
“I don’t believe in astrology” I said frankly.
“I think it’s a new-age religion that people follow blindly. And it’s not even a good religion with a good philosophy. I think it encourages prejudice. We can’t control when we were born, but so many people will assume your whole personality based on what astrology says about it. It’s a lot like racism or sexism that way. Judging someone for something they had no control over. You know?”
She stared at me in confusion.
“I think it should be taken as seriously as a fortune cookie. If it’s not taken too seriously, then fine. Let them have their fun with it. The problem is, people believe in it so wholeheartedly . That’s when it becomes a shitty religion. They don’t think of it as a religion though. No one has ever told them before. Then, like all ideologies, their brain starts to see the patterns in life that confirms their bias. Think about a christian and an atheist. They could have the same exact experience but one of them could see a miracle from God and the other could see a coincidence. And they can’t understand how someone could see it any differently. If someone believes in astrology, then they see it everywhere. It’s the trap that belief sets for us. Dogmatic thinking, you know?”
She kept glancing at the other table while I talked. I couldn’t tell if she was even listening to me anymore.
“Well, I just wanted to know if we are compatible or not.”
“Isn’t that the reason we are here in the first place? To see if we are compatible? Isn’t that a better way to find out? To find out for yourself, rather than to take the word of Astrology? Isn’t that the function of a date?”
“Yeah, I suppose it is…”
“Isn’t it better to organically find out if we fit?”
“Yeah… I guess”
Our long legged big ass'd waitress approached our table. She looked at my empty drink and asked, “Would you like another one?”
“I absolutely would.” I smiled at her.
“I’ll get right on that,” she said.
“Thanks doll,” I said.
I looked back to my date. I could tell by her body language that she had had enough of me. I couldn’t really blame her. She was gorgeous. A real looker. She just hadn’t been taught to think for herself yet. It didn’t matter how pretty they were, if they couldn’t think, then I didn’t want them. I still wanted to fuck her, sure. I just didn’t want to talk to her.
Mrs. Long Legs dropped off a fresh whiskey coke.
She smiled at me and played with her hair.
"How're you guys doing?" she asked.
"Can we get the check?" I asked her.
"Sure, be right back."
I watched her walk away.
“Okay, if you really have to know, then I’ll tell you.”
“Oh yeah? Okay then, I’m listening..”
“I guess I am a Scorpio-”
“I knew it! I could tell! Obviously you’re a Scorpio!” She was excited.
“You're the one that has me all figured out now, huh?”
A wild crazy grin came across her face.
“You Scorpio’s are all ass holes! Sex crazed ass holes!”
“Sheesh okay, if you say so” I rolled my eyes.
“Well, I don’t think we are compatible.”
“No shit.” I said.
She looked back over at the loud drunk ass hole.
I chugged the rest of my drink, got up and walked away.
I left her with the bill.