$14.95

I took an IQ test once.

It was the most stressful 18 minutes of my life.

It was all math

And

Thinking,

But not my type of thinking.

It was humbling.

It was terrifying .

I was stoned

And

Buzzed.

I did it on a whim.

Thought it would be fun.

I did it in front of two roommates.

Two friends.

I panicked .

Read a few of the questions out loud,

Implying that I needed help by the tone of my voice.

One of them chimed in.

She helped me answer a few of the questions.

I told her to stop.

It was my test.

My IQ.

Then I read another question out loud.

They both answered.

I had 12 minutes left

And 2 questions remaining.

I realized I should have took my time.

Actually put in a sober effort.

I could’ve sworn I was smart.

My two roommates helped me answer the last two questions.

I didn’t care at this point.

I had accepted it.

I am fucking retarded.

No disrespect to the retards.

I entered my name and email address.

Was tempted to use a fake name for some reason.

Only i knew the reason.

I didn’t want to be associated with this IQ score anymore.

I didn’t want the ‘internet’ to know

But

I entered my real name.

Pushed enter.

The next words I saw was the relief of a lifetime;

FOR RESULTS,

$14.95.

No way was I paying 15 bucks to be called a retard.