Every time she tried to pull away she came back and loved me more fiercely  then she did before. She is my boomerang, and I love her truly. And I will always love her. We were supposed to be together: Today, Tomorrow, And always. Whenever she pulls away she comes back and loves me more  then she ever did before. She’s my boomerang,     and she always comes back to me. All I have to do    is  wait.  . . . . . . . . . Babe? . . . . . . . . . Love? . . . . . . . . . You are comi

I had a dream last night, Of her bringing her ex into our house, Pulling him by the hand, Taking him right to the bedroom, Not saying a word to me, Or looking my way . . . It’s got to be one of the worst ways anyone could wake up.  CH 12/18/25

I’m a little hurt      But a lot more free  I’m a little broken       But a lot more free  I’m a little lost       But now I can stay me I’m a little miserable       But a lot more free to become anything I’m a little wrecked     But this way I can keep some self respect  I’m a little dead inside      But I'm sure some day          I’ll rise I’m a little hurt       But a lot more free . . . I may suffer from this for all of eternity     But . . . at least . . . I get to be .

“Sweet dreams,” is what she says to me, after checking in, to make sure I made it across the country safely.  ‘Sweet dreams’ . . . As if anything about my dreams could be sweet right now.  She’s not being sweet to me, she just feels guilty.  She has no idea what hearing ‘sweet dreams' means to me.  I can’t respond to that. I can’t pretend like this isn’t the end.  I have to let go of hope, or be poisoned by it.  I have to let her go.  She deserves freedom.  She deserves time.

Maybe feeling this deeply       is our super power       and should never be shamed? Maybe feeling this much    is what it means       to be alive? Maybe holding it all inside kills life? Maybe trying to numb the feelings,     or distract ourselves from them,        kills our power? Maybe doing that hurts what makes us human? Maybe we were made to feel it all—to experience the full spectrum of life? And maybe to suffer greatly is to have cared deeply about something or someon

I wish I could fade away into these words    And leave my life behind      For you to experience me         When you need me          For you to experience who I am today            And not who I will be I wish I could leave behind the man who loved you in this poem       The man you started to get to know         The man you started to love         I wish I could leave him right here for you          So you never forget           Who I was  Because     Who I might become    

Here's the thing having loved you, Now, No other woman in the world Will ever come close to you. You’ve ruined everyone else for me. You are the best person alive. My favorite human ever born. I will never love like this ever again.  And I will never trust anyone like I trusted you. You ask me how I am doing,  And I tell you, “I’ll be okay.” But,  I don’t know if that’s true . . . I just don’t know what to say to you. CH 12/17/25

I kept having dreams about us Doing every day normal things  Running errands  Walking our dogs Going to parties Visiting families  Making dinner They were happy dreams Dreams of our future  Beautiful dreams about us And then  When it became obvious that we were ending  I started to wonder  If in a different timeline  In a different universe  That you and I got to live that beautiful life together  For fifty years . . . I like to think that  In most of the timelines out there

Day 4  I am back in Oregon, And nothing feels right. It feels like I am trapped in a bad dream. Everything here is exactly the same, Just slightly different—not quite right.  The colors are off.  The noises have new frequencies.  The smells are wonky.  Even the house felt strange to walk into, like things were out of place.  My brother having a normal conversation with me feels weird. Nothing is normal. Nothing is fine. Nothing is alright.  She’s not coming back. We are done.

I fucked this up I wasn't good enough  I rushed us I didn't trust I gave into fears  And I was insecure I was jealous  And terrified  I knew what was going to happen And I did it anyway I was too clingy And I cared too much I wasn't patient I wasn't understanding  I was demanding  I was afraid I fucked this all up And it's all on me I’d love to blame her But I can’t do that  I was too eager Too open Too fast to love I was too desperate for her  A sad little man I cried my eye

What is the poison for the romantics, my love? . . . That’s right. So don't feed me any of it unless you mean it.  Unless you really  fucking mean it.  Don’t feed me a single drop of hope.  Just don’t.  CH 12/17/25

I miss her terribly. And I ache for her.     I long to give her a hug;     One of those hugs that stops time,       And calms the heart.        One of those hugs that makes your forget where you are,         And consumes you entirely.           One of those hugs that reminds you of who you are with,            And why you need them. Yeah . . . I want a damn hug from her,     Because I am breaking, And she broke me.    So she is the only one that can fix me. I want one of thos

I’d like to change the script. We need a rewrite. This can’t be where our story goes. This can’t be how it ends. No. We need a rewrite. A new story, with a happy ending. Not another tragic comedy. The main character deserves a happy ending, doesn't he? People can’t handle this much tragedy. Yeah, I don’t like this one anymore. It hurts too much. It’s too real. It’s too raw. There is no escapism in it. It reminds you too much of what the world is, and doesn’t allow you to get

I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave    If I have to look you in the eye when we say goodbye. So, I might write you a letter,    And do an Irish goodbye. Yes, that might be better . . .     I just don’t know if I’ll be able to let you go       When we hug for the final time.          I don’t know         If I’ll be able to let go           When I hug you for the final time . . . CH 12/16/25

I’m driving 105 on the highway  Still high today  I ran out of audiobooks  So sad love songs play  When will these tears stop falling? All I hope is that she is okay  I'm in pieces  And have so much road to go I shouldn't have left Now she's alone in our home A mess I've almost turned around a hundred times  Stuck in my own mind  Hopefully time heals us Hopefully one day we can trust  I pray That one day She’ll find her way back to me I just hope I'm the same man when that ha

The first night, I stayed up shaking. I could stop myself when I concentrated— When I got myself to stop thinking about her— Which took tremendous effort to do— And I could only manage for a few seconds at a time— But eventually, I fell asleep.  The second night, I wrote shitty poems about it; Which,  Who the hell knows if that even helps anymore? And I got really high; Which,  Who the hell knows if that even helps anymore? Tomorrow, I should make it back to home, But, for fu

Driving to her was the easiest choice of my life. And,     Driving away from her is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do . . . She wants to own a bookstore some day.   I think I’ll build one for her,       And wait . . . I don’t know if I am strong enough to leave.    I’d rather believe     That some day,       In some way,        We will be together again.          Yes,             I’d rather live in a convenient delusion,           Then accept our fate. . . . Please excus

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer...not to love is to suffer.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, just roll the damn credits.  “How lucky we are, to have loved something so much, we are forced to grieve this hard?” Oh god, save it for a hallmark card, Karen.  “Grief is indeed love with nowhere to go.” Hey buddy, your breath smells like a pig took a shit in your mouth, and then rolled around in it,

What if I told you that I never loved you? That I did it all for the plot? Would you believe me? . . . I see.  Is there anything I could say that would make you believe that I didn't love you? . . . I see.  Well, I did it all for the plot. I really did. I faked all the tears.  And I faked all the fears.  I faked every hug. And I faked every kiss.  What if I told you that you won't be missed?  Would you believe me? . . . I see. What if I told you that I was the one who wasn't

I am the googly eyes To your skulls I am the farts  In your once nice smelling home I am the guy who doesn't know shit about cars But I'm the same guy who gave you a star I am the hope In the bitter cold days  And you are the warmth  In the freezing rain I am the sad love song  To your moody metal I am the nice guy Who tries too hard When he feels you pull away You are the baking show on our TV And I am the guy who writes poetry about the girl who watches the baking show on o