All We Know Is Water
“This is the best country in the world! Don’t you think so, Chester?” “How would I know?” “Well, you live here, don’t you??” “Yeah, but...
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Clint Haugen
- Mar 30
- 1 min
Something Beyond Ourselves
I pity the folks That haven't Suffered For they Know not What they can Endure They do not know what they are Capable of Suffering And...
10 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 30
- 1 min
Long Live TikTok
This week it’s guns Next week will be abortion The following week they have climate change On the agenda And after that It’s Russia and...
11 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 29
- 1 min
Mary M.
She asked me to come over And I told her That I needed a shower She opened up the door With her tits out She was shorter than I thought...
16 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 29
- 1 min
How Fast Things Can Change
She once said to me That I’d never understand She added That I’d never be A man She screamed At me That’d I’d never amount To anything...
13 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 26
- 1 min
Hire Me For Your Wedding, Baptism, Or Funeral - Before I Raise My Rates
I made the mistake Of giving a toast At my friends wedding Two years ago And now It seems To be expected of me Clint Haugen ‘The Toaster’...
10 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 26
- 1 min
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
I search and search For the muse But once I find her I remember How sad she is How mad she is I remember She is a friend That tortures me...
10 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 26
- 1 min
Broken Promise
She had auburn hair And a cute smile And I never Told her How I felt I was never brave enough Never tough enough And she Just Kept living...
10 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 25
- 1 min
Hilariously Absurd
When I go out Alone No one sees me Unless I give them Something to see. We all just want to be seen and heard But somehow For some reason...
8 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 24
- 1 min
Slipping Away
No bar is good enough for me anymore No coffee shop No sentence No word None of it Feels Right Not anymore Something changed And now I am...
13 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 23
- 1 min
Thank You
I’d like to thank The beautiful bride That just tied the knot to a guy Who looks Strangely like me. He just lacks the eyes and the edge....
18 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 23
- 1 min
Something So Pathetically Human That No A.I. Could Write It
Extreme vulgarity May be needed In this fight Against A.I. writing's This is where I can be of use. A style so vulgar So grotesque No...
11 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 20
- 2 min
Coffee, AA And A TED talk
My date Was in recovery She stopped drinking 2 years ago I told her I was proud of her And then asked a few questions about AA Infinite...
25 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 19
- 1 min
Why The World Doesn't Change
We were supposed to change the world, but instead, the world changed us. Changing the world ended up being . . . well, a lot of work. We...
15 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 19
- 1 min
It's Just A Tool
The psyche Isn’t so simple You can’t pop it Like a pimple You can’t see it Like a wound You can’t feel it Like starvation You can’t grab...
13 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 17
- 1 min
To Be A Man
I learned to be a man by how the world raised me. Suffer in silence they said. Men had their time in the sun. Now, you must concede to...
15 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 15
- 1 min
Daylight Savings Makes Me Sick
We sprang forward And they took An hour from us Those bastards. When we fell back We never changed our clocks in the house It was Always...
9 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 15
- 1 min
I'll Be Your Villain
Imagine if the guy That could whoop your ass Could also Write erotica And poetry Maybe even A novel or two? How much would you hate him?...
17 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 15
- 4 min
A Perfect Moment Turned Into Erotica For Fetlife
I had taken her through an introduction session at my work a few days before, but she didn’t sign up for a membership. But here she was,...
29 views0 comments
Clint Haugen
- Mar 13
- 1 min
Interview
I had a job interview earlier today And after it was over I was left Not wanting the job I had been excited about before That’s not how...
10 views0 comments
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