Zero Gravity Milk Cannons

“If you give her the moon and the stars, all she’s gonna want is space.” 

“. . . That’s not as clever as you think it is,” I said.

“Be the sun. Be consistent. Be warm. Be the light in her darkness. She’ll come around. You’ll see.”

“Be a giant perfect sphere of hot plasma for her? Let me just put on my nuclear pants real quick, then I’ll be all set. Wait! I’ll need a helmet! And goggles! Don’t want to singe my eyelashes like I did taking a bong rip the other day. Definitely don’t want to do that again.”

“Be patient. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Soon, she’ll bloom for you. Grow her. Nourish her. You’ll see. 

“You’re so cringe, dude. Honestly. It’s gross,” I said, making a face at him. 

“A rose can only grow in the perfect conditions.”

“You think I want a rose? I want a Flame Lily. You know what a Flame Lily is, old man? It’s only the rarest flower on earth. Or, almost the rarest. Out of all the rare flowers, it’s the best one. It really is . . . Okay, it’s not that rare anymore. But, it is pretty neat. I think so, anyway . . .”

“She’s a shooting star, blessing you with her presence for the briefest moment before she disappears forever. You must appreciate every second with her while you can.”

“. . . Did you know that the great wall of China is 13,000 miles long?? That doesn’t make any damn sense to me . . . Does that make any damn sense to you, old man?”

“The heart longs for what the soul is missing.”

“I had this candied popcorn the other day. That shit was so good. I couldn’t stop eating it. It was cookies and cream flavored popcorn. Have you ever had it?,” I asked. “Or anything like it before?”

“The love we never got . . . we search for it in everyone, but it only lives in the soul of a few . . . Rare, like your Flame Lily . . . Real love is incredibly rare . . . One star in the sky . . . One soul among 7.4 billion . . . It’s a tremendous sacrifice to fall in love. We must rage against our selfishness to love truly . . . Do you feel ready for it?”

“. . . Anyway . . . Katy Perry went to space . . . I would’ve given anything to see those milk cannons in a zero gravity environment . . . Can you imagine that? She was my childhood crush . . . It’s the potential for moments like that one that make life worth living. It really is.”

-CH 4/23/25