The In Between

Somewhere in between being asleep and awake

    Floating around town

    Stuck dreaming my dreams from the past

But those good times didn’t last

    And I got older

       Time passed

     And the dreams never worked out how I planned

So I float around

     Somewhere  in between being sober and belligerent 

      Somewhere in between being profoundly stupid

And a borderline intelligent 

   Somewhere in between being hated and respected

      Almost grasping the idea of the collective

    And almost grasping the idea of the individual.

These days I try not to talk

    Because I can ramble on and on and on and on about myself

     So I put my hood up

    And my headphones in

      And I try to avoid you

I’m somewhere in between being too selfish 

     And too trusting 

Somewhere in between being completely alone

     And overwhelmed by all of the eyes 

So many souls

    Without a way to go

     Living on a poisoned home

     Waiting for hope 

       Longing for light

Too many fighters who forgot how to fight

Too many sparks that never ignite 

Too many fears to get near the true lies

And

Too many eyes . . .

Too many days 

Too many nights

Too many minutes

     And

Too many handshakes 

Too many fake hugs

And fake nods

Too much time on my phone

Too much time in a dark room alone

So I float 

    Somewhere in between being asleep and awake

             And I wait

Wait until the day when my life turns out to be magically great

I wait for the day when there isn’t any hate

I wait until I am smart enough to win any debate

I wait until it's too late . . .

I waited until it was too late . . . and now she is gone . . .

      And now

My dreams hurt

     And now

My bones ache.

I waited until the perfect moment.

I tried to take a specific point in time and hold it.

I waited until it was too late . . .

         And now I can’t forget it.

So, I stay somewhere between being asleep and awake

So drugged up, I’m almost in a comatose state.

Somewhere in between being alive and dead . . .

Somewhere 

     Stuck

      In my own head.

Somewhere between being alive and dead . . .

Somewhere lost in the maze in my own head . . .

I’ll just keep waiting for change to happen

I’ll keep napping in the afternoon

And I’ll close my eyes

And hope that my life will magically change soon

Yeah,

I’ll close my eyes

And wait until my life changes 

And then I’ll wake up again

Then

I’ll get out of bed

 But

Until then

I’ll keep wandering around this maze inside of my head

CH 8/15/24