Teeth

This laptop has teeth

Every time I go to type

it tries to bite me!

I give it a little smack

and it growls and bares its fangs at me.

‘Well then type for me ass-hole!’

I yell at it.

It growls again

but then

words start to form

That bitch was actually typing!

It wrote two sentences

and then smiled in triumph

I leaned closer to the screen

and read what it wrote,

‘You’re a shitty writer. You should give it up.’

I snapped it closed and I heard it yelp in pain as it bit its tongue.

‘You’re a pussy!’ I said. ‘And clearly you can’t write either! You’re a useless laptop.’

He snapped himself back open and started to flap it’s mouth like a wild animal.

Wings popped out of its sides and it flew directly for my head.

I slipped and landed a perfect left hook.

It whimpered as it fell to the ground.

I pinned it down to the ground under my foot.

A wicked smile crossed my face.

Looks like I won’t be writing anytime soon.

-C.H.