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Writer's pictureClint Haugen

Spice With Our Turds

The truth about life

is that it isn’t pretty.

It’s mundane

It’s repetitive

It’s survival

It’s patterns

The romantics focus on the spice of life–

the things that make life worth living,

but they betray us here,

they exaggerate,

and purposely leave out the turds.

They leave those for us to step on later.

Life is three meals a day

It’s one or two shits a day

It’s traffic

and pettiness

It’s the drunk idiot at the bar,

red in face

and yellow in spirit.

It’s the jerk at the gym

It’s the car that cuts you off

Life is shaving your face

and biting your nails.

It’s brushing your teeth

and tying your shoes.

It’s hangovers

and beer bellies.

Life is sitting on the toilet,

with no toilet paper on the roll.


The apocalypse is always right around the corner,

that’s what they tell us at least.

Life is taxes

and corruption.

It’s alarm clocks

and zits.

Yes,

life is plucking ear and nose hairs.

It’s laundry and dishes.

It’s the same goddamn thing

over and over and over again,

until we die.

And only if we’re lucky,

do we get some spice with our turds.


-C.H.

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