Opposite Reality

We didn’t end up together.

It all fell apart.

She didn’t come back.

There was no playlist

We missed our moment.

There were no apologies.

There was no forgiveness.

It all faded away.

I didn’t listen to her favorite band over and over again.

I didn’t let her back in.

I ignored all of the sweet and dark beauty inside of her.

I didn’t love her.

And she never loved me.

I stayed away.

She stayed away.

It was okay that way.

There was no reconnection.

We aren’t quantuamly entangled.

The distance does matter.

The timing WAS perfect but we fucked it up.

She lost me the day she kicked me out of our apartment for no reason.

We aren’t made for each other.

And we aren’t soul tied.

She isn’t the mother of my future daughter.

I didn’t strip off her armor.

I didn’t help her.

She didn’t help me.

We didn’t heal.

We didn’t take space.

We didn’t grow.

I didn’t move to Iowa to make her my home.

I didn’t get immediately replaced.

She didn’t hurt me in the exact same way she was terrified to be hurt.

I didn’t learn my worth.

I didn’t have to decide what I’d tolerate.

I turned the page.

My body wasn’t shaking terribly as I wrote this one.

I wasn’t scared as hell.

I didn’t live like this was reality for an hour or two.

I was too scared to.

. . .

. . .

If I live every day like the opposite reality is the real one,

will it help me

let go of her?

. . . No?

Oh . . .

Will anything help? . . .

Alrighty.

CH 4/23/26