My Lost Dog Mind

“Don’t think. Feel.”

The old line from Star Wars rattles in the skull

as I try to meditate.

I try to feel my breath

I recognize my sensations in my body

I hear something, note that I am hearing it and then move on

I focus on my breath

“Don’t think. Feel.”

I’m trying to, Yoda!

The mind wanders off

like a lost dog

roaming the streets

I try to be nice to my lost dog mind

and gently call him back

Sometimes he listens

But sometimes

he keeps roaming

I never yell at him

or flick him on the nose

I treat him like a good friend

and just try to nudge him along

“Don’t think. Feel.”

Okay, Yoda, but I am thinking about not thinking.

I am thinking about feeling.

Feeling about thinking.

Sometimes,

very rarely,

I actually reach a deep meditative state

I am there but not there

Time is strange in this state

But I think that it only last for a few seconds

Maybe a few minutes

I never check my phone afterwards to see the time

Could be hours

and I’d never know

“Don’t think. Feel.”

I can never use the force though, Yoda.

I know that’s not the point.

I know there is no destination for meditation.

Like everything, it’s a long journey that I must have no expectations for.

But Yoda,

it would be so cool

to make a boulder float

Some day.

“Don’t think. Feel.”

. . .

Then my stomach growls.

-C.H.