Please understand
I learned how to fight
Before I learned how to speak
And I knew nothing but chaos
Way before ever feeling peace
I was taught how to bite
Before someone showed me how to love
And please remember
That I was a disappointment first
Before I ever wrote a verse
And I had a tough time holding onto hope
Because I was always expecting the worst
Keep in mind that I had to hurt
Before realizing that I could heal
And I was broken
When I recognized all of the illusions
And finally saw what was real
I was left alone
With a drunk
Who had stopped giving a fuck
Years before
Anyone ever knew
I was a bunch of pieces
Before trying to become whole
And I stayed comfortable
Before diving into the unknown
And I have to remember
That I learned to sin
Way before I learned to forgive
I am still going
Still changing
Still becoming something
And I am still learning how to let go
Of the man I used to be
It just takes time
To forget all of our history
It’s a slow burn
Forgetting everything I’ve ever learned
And I am still learning patience
As I wait for my turn
I flowed with life
Before taking control
And I was stuck on my phone
Back when I was okay being alone
I was forced to be silent
Before making my voice heard
And I learned about the power of sword
Way before the power of the written word
CH 3/21/24