Layers Of Delusions

I think I suffer from ‘little man’s syndrome’

When I see someone my same weight class

In my mind

I am so much bigger than him

And I am shocked

That he weighs the same as me

And when I step on the scale

I am in denial

‘How can I weigh 140lbs??

All I do is workout and eat out!’

It’s a block in the psyche

A delusion

I feel like I am stronger

Faster

Smarter

A harder worker

More skilled

Then all these other fighters

Maybe it’s a good delusion

But maybe

It isn’t

I’m not sure

But it makes me think

About how I see myself

And everyone else

And how many layers

Of delusions

Live in the psyche

I fought this guy recently

And he looked huge

I wondered how much weight he had to cut to make 135lbs

His biceps were massive

Way bigger than my noodle arms

But when we fought

I beat him easily

And afterwards

He went up to me

And asked me

How the hell do I make 135lbs

I told him I thought the same thing about him!

And it made me think

About competition

And fear

And how can build up something in our psyche

That isn’t real

It made me wonder

How many layers of delusions live

In our own psyche.

-C.H.