If I Were To Stay True To Me

If I were to stay true to me,

   And not shrink myself for you,

I would honestly say,

      Fuck you. 

If I were to go back to being who I was before I met you,

     I would say goodbye and never look back. 

If I were to be the authentic version of me I’ve known for 33 years,

      I’d be ruled by my fears

And I’d disappear. 

If I stayed true to me,

     And didn’t change because of you,

I’d get high

    Night after night,

And never fight

    For you.

If I was still full of pride and arrogance,

      I would’ve become a ghost to you after our first fight.

If I didn’t soften because of you,

    I’d still be pissed as hell at you.

And if I was still me,

    I already would’ve had a new lady on top of me.

But, 

     Unfortunately,

You’ve made me a better man. 

Now I don’t even understand who I am.

CH 1/19/26