I've Never Known How To

I never expected to fall in love with you

So please understand

I’ve never known how to love you

Love

I am certain

this is

What else could shake a man like this?

You were supposed to teach me how to love you

Your eyes replace mine sometimes

And I see things the way you do

But only when you let me see all of you;

only when you honestly share your view

So much space between us now

Slipping into strangers

That’s where this will go

Communication is intimacy

but your tank was on empty

The shadows drowned me

And for that

I am eternally sorry

Looking back

Like Orpheus did

To see if you were still behind me

Cost me

Everything

Instead of trust

There was rust

And instead of air

We breathed in dust

Maybe we never made it out of hell?

I don’t know how to love you

All I know is how much I love you

And with that

I’m not always sure what to do

I loved you loudly—proudly

And you loved me cautiously

I can’t blame you

Not after what you’ve been through

Opposite sides of the same thing

You and me

The same songs

The same maze

Just different ways of coping with it

So much bullshit in this life

But when someone sees the bullshit with you

Laughing at it becomes an option

I wish you knew how much I’ve softened for you

Chasing or caging is not what I’m here to do

It’s not in my bones

Be free

Be you

Stay true to the beautiful soul the world has tried to beat out of you

Love again, some day

Even it isn’t me

As long as you are happy

Listen to the kid within

Listen to your body

And take care of your dreams

They mean everything to me.

CH 11/10/26