Hope As A Vice?

I still look for her

Everywhere I go

My head stays on a swivel

If there is even a small chance

That I might see her

But

I haven’t

In a long time now

Maybe 6 or 7 months

And even then

We didn’t say a word to each other

My heart was going over the speed limit

And I thought that it was going to crash

As she sat right in front of me

Still

The eyes search for her blonde hair

And her blue eyes

And her black clothes

And her pointy elbows

Even as I write this

I turn to the door

To see if she is walking in

My roommates tell me

Not to drive to the next town over

To write and read

But then…

I wouldn’t have the small chance of running into her

And that small chance

That’s hope

And I need hope

To keep moving

Some philosophers

Have said that hope is a vice

I didn’t understand that back when I heard it

But now

I think

Maybe there is something to that…

-C.H.