It's good to see you today, babe
I know those aren’t words that I usually say
And I’m sorry for that
But most of the time
It really is good to see you
And even though I don’t respond
It is nice when I hear from you
I am just sorry that you don’t hear from me
And it is nice to get a birthday gift from you
Even though
I don’t ever get one for you
I appreciate when you buy me drinks
Even though
I don’t ever buy drinks for you
And I love it when you give me drugs
And all I have to give you
Is my cock
Yes, I love that
I love it when you read my poetry
Even though
I don’t ever read yours
And
It is nice that you love me
Even though
I don’t love you
Yes, that’s quite nice for me
I don’t really know how to love someone
And I am sorry I wrote a book about going to therapy
Instead of actually going
I get overwhelmed sometimes
When I think about how kind everyone has been to me
While I—. . .
Well, I haven’t really done anything to deserve it
I haven’t been worth it
And I haven’t repaid anyone's kindness
I always thought
That someday
When I wasn’t treading water
I’d be able to give back to the people that have helped
Me
But
It turns out, babe
That I am still drowning
And for that
I am also sorry
One day I’ll have the strength to save my own life
And one day
I hope that
I’ll meet you.
CH 6/16/24
😭