Why I Am Moving Across The Country

Firstly, I'd like to start off this letter to you by saying that this is me, Clint C. Haugen, not ‘The Writer’ or ‘The Fighter’. This isn't Owen, or Paul, or Aslan (You'll see some day). This is just me. No gimmicks. No poetry. No imagery. No philosophy. And no psychology. ‘The Voice' some of y'all claim to hear is absent from this. This is me to you, human to human. No art. No self-deprivation. No poop jokes. I’m not pretending to be Hemingway here; or Holdon; or Bukowski; or Fitzy; or even Camus. This is as close to ‘authentic’ as I can get. I won’t pretend to tell my story from a different perspective. You get me stripped down and raw. (Oof. That's rough. My bad.)

For you, for this moment, I’ve taken off all of my masks that protect me to tell you why I am moving across the country.

It’s for love. I am moving to Des Moines, Iowa for love.

And I think that’s the best reason to leave this place and start a new life with that lady that I’ve fallen madly for. I fall more in love with her every day. Even from way over here, I fall more in love with her every day.

I think I’d be a coward not to try to love her as best as I can. I’d regret not taking this chance. It would haunt me for eternity. (Shit, that’s almost poetry.)

For some reason I cannot begin to fathom, I’ve been blessed with something special. And all I have to do is participate in it to grow it. All I have to do is be as vulnerable as a man could be, and for her, I do it gladly. She has quickly become my: lover, best friend, muse, and life. She has become my life.

We’ve been dating for five months—five months of long distance. I knew after the first day of our relationship I loved her truly. When she flew back to her home, and I was alone, I was broken. I was a mess. I really was. It was super embarrassing.

Five months being away from her has been 33 years too long. I miss her dearly. My life cannot move forward without her. ‘The Writer’ doesn’t exist if she and I are in an argument. And, ‘The Fighter’, he doesn’t feel like fighting. He feels loved. He feels healed. He feels as if he doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone. But . . . He is ‘The Provider’. The artist gets lost in the sauce and doesn’t know what day it is or how much money is in his bank account.

Being her lover is a new adventure. It’s a new calling. It’s a new purpose and a new meaning. It is a new life. One I am eagerly jumping into.

I’ve never had a chance at a love like this one before. Hell, I don’t even think a love like this one is very common in today’s world. I think this kind of love might be special. It might be unique. It might grow into the cosmos. (Shit, that’s too much imagery. Scratch that.) It might grow into the most beautiful thing in the cosmos. (That’s a little better, isn’t it?) This might be a love that changes love forever. I reckon it could even change the world. Like my boy, Che, said once, “. . . at the risk of seeming ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.” And I believe him. I have felt a revolution stirring in my own soul because of this love.

I am learning how I love and she is a reflection of my soul. And like Freddie (Nietzsche) said once, “The strength of a person's spirit would then be measured by how much 'truth' he could tolerate, or more precisely, to what extent he needs to have it diluted, disguised, sweetened, muted, falsified.” (Dammit all!! This is too much philosophy! My apologies . . .)

When she shows me who I am, and who I could be, it’s hard for me. It’s intimidating. And it’s inspiring. How much truth can we stomach together? I’m not sure, but with her, I’d like to find out.

Every minute of life I spend over here without her feels like a waste. It feels like a resistance to fate, and I don’t even believe in fate.

I knew what I must do five months ago. And I know it more every day. I must go be with my lover, 1,600 miles away from here. And I have no more fears about it. I trust her. I trust our love. I trust where we can go. I trust how we will grow. I trust that together we will build a beautiful home. I trust myself to be the man she deserves. And I trust myself to continually keep this fire of ours alive. I’ll breathe life into it when I have to.

I will take care of her as best as I can. (Do you hear that, Dad! . . . Sorry, babe . . .) I get to live in love. I get an opportunity to be in something that people would kill to be in. And I do not take it for granted.

I’d change the world for her. I’d stop a comet. I’d slow down a tornado. I’d halt a tsunami. I’d transcend space and time. I’d drive through the night just to make sure she was okay. I’d call her mom. I’d stay on the phone all night with her, just to hear her voice. I’d give up everything I am again and again and again. I’d let my pride die a thousand times. So, of course I’d move across the country for her. It’s a no-brainer.

Bend, Oregon is alright. And I’ve made some great friends here. I will miss some of you. But now is my time to leap into something new. Now I get to go on a new adventure. Now I get to love and be loved. This is it. This is the big one. Wish me luck. Buy me a drink before I go. Buy my books and share them. Venmo me money. (Clint_Haugen) And be on the look out for the best love story ever written. Something tells me that’s what this will inspire.

Bless you, peeps. Good luck and carry on.

Clint Haugen 11/3/25