Waking Up Cold

We go to sleep in love

But wake up so cold

She says she doesn’t love me anymore

And I know she said it from her soul

I can’t imagine a future for us any longer

I could’ve sworn our love was stronger

She needs to heal

And I need a bottle whisky 

I wanted to do to fifty years

And not give up the first time we feel our fears

I never wanted to cry in front of her

And I never imagined that I would ever have a reason to

She loves me one moment

And then I am the pit in her stomach a few hours later

She is pulling on our strings

And now I am ready to pull us apart

She self-sabotaged us

And now I want to do something much worse

She used fantasies of love as a distraction to avoid her feelings  

And I want to use making love as a distraction

We fight for hours

And I end up on the couch with my dog

Until she tiptoes back in the living room

And grabs of ahold of me

Before taking my hand 

Leading me to her bed

Life was never fair

But this lesson stings 

I ask her what she wants for dinner

And she says that I’m not a man for doing that

I’m not ready to give up

I’m not

I don’t know how

But these clouds

Have brought us a storm

And I was warned

I was warned . . .

They told me not trust her

They all warned me

And now all I want to be in numb to everything 

-CH 12/7/25