Waking Up

Today feels like a dream

Like I should be asleep

The brain is on

but barely

A walking zombie

No desire to chat

No desire to wait in traffic

Hardly any motivation to think

I can’t tell you why

I slept alright

I ate healthy

It’s just one of those days

Time passes in an instant

but also,

stands still

The sun shines,

but I don’t get the good energy from it today

It doesn’t warm up my insides

People are polite enough

but I am easily agitated with them

I am hungry

but food doesn’t sound good

Thirsty

but

not for water

Alive,

breathing,

but absent

The mind isn’t in the present,

it’s everywhere else

and nowhere at all

The distractions are distracting

but never satisfying

There's always chatter

Always everyone giving their opinions

About everything that happens

it’s too much

It seems artificial now

Like an algorithm could predict our average responses

to specific news

Spiritual zombies

Philosophical zombies

Alive

but not living

Getting by,

making it,

paying bills,

falling into a routine,

an endless one,

Being human-

routines,

without any risk;

danger from a distance,

suffering from a distance.

We see it through our phones,

never processing it.

It’s just a weird day,

and these happen

from time to time.

Sleep walking through a day,

going through the motions.

Maybe I should jump in a river?

Maybe I should have sex?

Maybe I should fight?

Something,

anything,

to

wake

me

up.

-C.H.