Too Early

“Is it better to die numb or to die young?”

“Dog, it’s way too early for this shit again.”

“I’m just asking. It doesn’t have to be such a serious thing.”

“Is it better to die numb or to die young isn’t a serious question? Dude, I haven’t even had my coffee.”

“I’m already on my third bloody mary. And this is just how my mind works.”

“These are the questions you wrestle with before you’ve had your coffee??”

“Yeah.”

“Every morning?? 

“Every morning, evening and night.”

“Sheesh, I understand why you drink the bloodys.”

“They help with the digestion of such introspection; and the bar downtown makes great biscuits and gravy, and a pretty decent bloody. They pour heavily over there. I appreciate that.”

“It’s 9am, brother.”

“Yes, it is.”

“You drink to face these questions?”

“My mind is determined to break me. It is relentless.”

“I don’t envy you.”

“People do, but they don’t understand why.”

“Could you face them sober? These questions?”

“Probably. It’s just not as fun that way.”

“Fun?? Thinking about whether it is better to die young or die numb is fun??”

“Well, to be honest with you, I wish I had a better partner to bounce this question and its potential answers off of, but it seems too early in the day for you to play.”

“Holy shit, Chester. Alright, alright, just let me— . . . Excuse me, ma’am? . . . yes, can I get two double whiskeys on a rock? . . . thank you, doll . . . For the digestion.”

“So? What do you think? Numb or young?”

“Can you friggin wait until I’ve had my whiskey’s. I don’t particularly enjoy these kinds of conversations with you.”

“That’s because you’re a coward.”

“Ay, watch your mouth.”

“I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m only being honest with you.”

“I will fuck you up right here, Chester.”

“You aren’t scared of a physical fight, but a mental one. You avoid anything that might disturb the fragile peace you pretend to keep.”

“Listen here you, sonofabitch! I—. . . Thanks, Love . . . Here, this one is for you. Cheers . . . Ugh . . . Doll? Another two, will you? Appreciate it . . . Alright, so, I reckon it’s better to die numb than young.”

“And why’s that?”

“Well, the young are robbed of life. ‘The numb’ has probably felt too much of life. The young should get the chance to grow and choose their path. The numb . . . The numb are almost dead already, aren’t they?”

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

“Why does it sound like you are judging me?”

“No, no, not at all. I wouldn’t ask such a weighted question this early just to judge your answer. Thank you . . . Here, cheers. To not dying young.”

“You do this every morning?”

“When I can. Now, one more question and then we can change the topic if you’d like.”

“Shoot.”

“Since we are old now, we can’t die young, so we’ve dodged that one, but, do you think we are numb?”

-CH 9/2/25