The King Of Cringe

What a train-wreck

   What a disaster

I don’t think that could’ve gone any worse

   Holy moly

Yikes

   I’m not even kidding

It was a classic Clint Haugen move

   It really was

I mean 

    I was lobbed a softball here

And I fumbled it

   I muffed it

It hit me between the eyes

   And knocked me out cold

It really did

   Can you believe it?

After all this time and I am still the most awkward guy you’ll ever meet when it matters

   Can you believe that?

There was a curve-ball first 

   One that took me by surprise

But, I should’ve recovered 

   I mean

How dumb do I have to be to have messed that up?

    An absolute idiot

Honestly, I am

    Sometimes the universe hands me what I want on an absolute fucking platter

And I mess it up

   I really do

I am no good at this stuff

   It makes me sick a little

Being who I am makes me sick, sometimes

   What a disaster

What a shit-show

   What a dummy 

How many chances does the universe give, huh?

   Huh?

Do you know?

Do you know how many chances the universe will give a fella during their life?

   I’m just an awkward guy

I really am 

   I get scared 

I really do

   I got spooked, I guess

A classic Clint Haugen mess around

   Sometimes I need to put my foot in my damn mouth

And shut the hell up

   Sometimes the more I talk

The deeper my hole gets

    Golly

What a mess

   What a train-wreck

It really was

   You should’ve been there

You’d be embarrassed for me if you were

    It probably would’ve made you cringe

Honestly

   I bet it would have 

    Imagine being given a diamond

And mistaking it for a penny?

   How blind would you have to be to have done that?

How dumb?

   How awkward?

How cringe?

   I am the king of cringe

Honestly, I am.

CH 12/4/24