Stuck Here

I counted down from 10

And watched the black ceiling fan

Spin

Around and around

“10 . . . 9 . . . 8 . . .”

I was trying to hypnotize myself

I was trying to meditate

I was trying to stay in between sleeping and being awake

A voice told me

That I would wake up in another world

If I counted down from 10

“7 . . . 6 . . . 5 . . .”

I had heard that you can lucid dream

When you’re stuck

Frozen

In that state between being awake and being asleep

I imagined floating above my body

I imagined seeing myself from above

I imagined floating up

And up and up and up

Above my house

City

State

Country

Continent

Planet

Galaxy

Until earth

Was just a

Speck

“5 . . . 4 . . . another world . . . 3 . . .

“Countdown from 10,

watch the fan,

lucid dream,

Hypnotize yourself,

Astral project,

Meditate,

And you’ll end up in another world.”

Well, I listened to the voice. I tried to do it. I tried to believe that I could.

“Another world . . . 2 . . . another world . . . 1 . . .”

“Now bring yourself back down to your body and open your eyes, and when you open them this time, you’ll be in another world.”

I obeyed.

I brought myself back to my body.

But,

When I opened

My eyes,

I was still in the same bed

In the same room

In the same house

In the same city

In the same state

“Well, that was bullshit.”

. . . But then I noticed the time.

And now,

I am

stuck here.

-CH 8.7.23