Progress

Today, I fight the urge to smash my laptop into pieces against the brick wall next to me.

Today, I tried to reread some old poetry, and I wanted to hit the sucker who wrote those things. He knew nothing.

Today, I can’t think.

Today, I want to drink.

Today, I hate writing.

Today, I still hurt.

Today, this shit doesn’t help.

Today, I want to melt.

Today, I want to go back to sleep.

Today, I don’t want to weep.

Today, I will try to move on.

Today, I will find the strength to carry on.

Today, I will let go.

Today, I want to scream.

Today, I am unwell.

Today, I am coming up from the pits of hell.

Today, I choose to blame her, because it’s easier that way.

Today, I forgive her for everything. 

Today, I will try again.

Today, I take back myself.

Today, I stay true to me.

Today, I take my soul back.

Today, I realize that it wasn’t healthy.

Today, I accept the fact that she doesn’t want me, even though she loves me. 

Today, I slow down.

Today, I hurt, but today feels slightly better than yesterday,

and I suppose that’s progress.

CH 12/20/25