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I don’t even like poetry

When I see a basic poem

With a basic rhyme scheme

A solid structure

And perfect grammar

It makes me cringe

It really does

The basic metaphors

Relating every feeling to something

No thanks

Hard pass

I’m on this writers page on Facebook (technically Meta now, but fuck them)

And almost every time

One of these aspiring writers

Post a poem

It hurts me

Then I read the comments

And all these other aspiring writers

Are pouring maple syrup up his ass

Telling him how good it is!

It hurts

I know I am no normal poet

And the thing about poetry

Is it has to be so good to be good

And most of us aren’t good.

There has to be a little bit of magic

At the fingertips of the writer

Or else it’s just


Sometimes we write because we are bleeding

Or drunk

or on drugs

(maybe that's just me)

And sometimes magic is made from that

But when you’re all out of blood

And the bottles are dry

And the drugs don’t hit like they used too

That is when the real writers are made

So enough of the fluff

Enough of the maple syrup

People ask me

‘How do you do it?’

I tell them that I write shit down

And then don’t really edit

And just send it out there

It is simple

And I am lazy.


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