Pirates

A goofy looking ship with a giant jolly roger floated into the Bay of Monte Charllowe. My Bay. 

Pirates. Damn pirates;

Always chasing their freedom;

Always living life to the fullest;

Always living for themselves and their crew and no one else.

These damn pirates have come to my island again to drink all of the booze and eat all of the food.

Kill the filthy pirate, that’s what I say. 

If they don’t want to contribute to this society, then fuck em. Kill em. Push em over the edge. If they don’t want to play our game, then tie a cannon ball to their legs and throw them over.

If they don’t want to pay taxes, then kill em. 

If they don’t want to follow the rules here, then fuck em.

If they want freedom, then show them their cage. 

This place functions with strict order. Their chaos would ruin everything. I know you know that.

They have a leader. He smiles too damn much. I hate him. I truly hate him. Their stupid captain. Their dumb beliefs. Their guns and booze. Fuck em.

They take whatever they want from others. They rob, and fuck, and swear, and spit, and shoot and they swagger back and forth.

They ain’t better than me. They ain’t. I run this shit. I look over this town. I am responsible for everyone here. If they hurt one of my people, I swear to God I will get them back tenfold. 

I am the authority and they will respect me. Or else . . .

I have something special planned if that captain tries to take my hand and make him dance with his girl again. I'm going to chop off that hand. I'm going to take this meat cleaver right here—the one that old man Gregory gave me for helping him shovel out his barn—and chop it off. I'll take that hand as my prize.

These damn pirates think they embody what it means to be free. They're full of shit. They just know the sea. They don’t know anything about real society. 

I think I’ll take his hand and chop it off regardless if he tries to take mine in his and escort it to the dance floor, where his beautiful lady waits. I don't love her . . . I really don’t . . . She’s only the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but she’s with him, and that makes her soul ugly. She's ugly. And she's beautiful. I hate her. I hate the both of them.

Why does she love him anyway? He’s a degenerate. He just eats and drinks. He’s got no intelligence and no manners. I’d treat her like a real woman. He treats her like she’s yesterday's newspaper. 

His first-mate has those swords and I reckon he can use them. He looks like the type of man that could use swords. I have a gun though. He won’t be able to slice my bullets out of the air. 

I’ll chop the captain's hand and shoot the first mate in the chest. Then I’ll steal the girl. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. What a night this will be. 

I think we’ll set their ship on fire. I hate the whole damn crew. Yeah, I'll light that damn goofy ship on fire. Then I'll stand back and watch it burn. I can't wait to see that Jolly Roger burn.

Despite my proclamations for violence, I swear that I am a good man. These damn pirates just make a good man go a little crazy. Good men need order and structure to stay good. Chaos shakes everything up, and good and evil blur as the dust settles. I am a good man, though. I promise you that I am a good man. I’ve just had too much to drink today.  

-CH 5/17/25