I go to type
And blood drips onto my laptop
One of my fingers
Has a cut
Which is weird
Because
All I did
Was drive to a coffee shop
Order my cup of coffee
Put some honey in it
Sit down
And scroll through my phone
I shouldn’t be bleeding . . .
My legs are sore
From getting them kicked at the gym yesterday
My shoulder hurts
And my face has a few marks on it
But besides that
I am fine
I only grimace in pain everytime I sit down or stand up
Every step hurts
But it doesn’t hurt too bad
I can take it
I can fake it
It’ll heal
And maybe I’ll be stronger for it
But my finger shouldn’t be bleeding like this . . .
I grab a napkin
And wrap it up
But the blood soaks through it
The napkin turns bright red
And people start to stare
I tell them that I don’t know what happened
It just started bleeding when I went to write
It was a spontaneous opening of the skin
And maybe that happens sometimes . . .
I’ll be okay
It’s a small cut
Nothing to worry about
I can still write
And even though my legs feel like jello
And every movement hurts
I can still fight
But the bleeding doesn’t stop
And the spontaneous opening of the skin
Grows wider
Grows deeper
And more blood pours out of it
It’s okay, though
I know where the letters are
On the keyboard
I don’t need to see them
To hit them
And typing into a pool of blood
Is something new
Something I’ve never done before
And at the age of 32
How often do we get to do something new? . . .
I accidentally wiped my eyes
And now there is blood on my face
People stop and stare
But I just sit there
Still typing
Still trying
One person comes up and thanks me for being so bold
Apparently I am making a political statement
But
I can’t stand politics
And I look at her
Confused
She tells me that I must be a courageous human
For sticking up for those kids in Gaza
I must be full of empathy
I must be a kind soul
To be so bold
I tell her,
“Lady,
My coffee is bold,
I ain’t . . .”
My whole table is covered in blood now
And people have come to watch
There’s a crowd circling me
Whispering to each other
And
I’ve never had a crowd watching me write before
That’s pretty neat
If you ask me
I stop
And look around
One lady gasp
Covering her mouth
Watching me
I get up slowly
My legs aching horribly
And then I wobble to the cash register
The whole crowd goes bananas
Cheering for me
I look around
Beyond confused at this point
I order another cup of coffee
And sit back down
Blood has dripped off of the table
And has covered my seat
I sit down anyway
It’s okay
I’ll be okay
I bet I’ll be okay
This little tiny cut
Won’t hurt me
My skin in too tough
My mind is too chiseled
My soul is too dark
I can just take my pain
And turn it into art
I can use all of this blood
And paint with it
CH 6/5/24