I can’t ignore my anger anymore
It stirs deep within me
The side that some people see
The side that I can only feel sometimes
They say that I have an edge
That I am rebellious by nature
They say that I look bored
Or angry
They say my energy feels both peaceful and troubled . . .
I used to think my anger was passion
And maybe it was good fuel
To grow
But it feels like it might be time to let go
Of the anger
It feels like I need to free up some space in my soul
In order to become something more
They say that I am arrogant
And cold
And maybe I am . . .
They say that I am trouble
They say I keep people at a distance
They say I made a persona
So I don’t have to be vulnerable . . .
I try to remind myself
That conversations are not competitions
But as I get closer to competing again
I can feel the anger rising
I can feel the tension that lives within
I can feel my loneliness
I can feel the dirty hole in my soul
I try to hide
I try to push down my pride
I try to let go
Of the ego
But the flow
Tells me to take my shadow
And make him a friend
The deep
Tells me to take that leap
The light
Tells me to help the darkness up
Because if we make it an enemy
It’ll surely conquer us
They tell me to trust the spectrum
To trust it all as a whole
The light can become brighter
With more darkness
The light says to me,
“See the darkness
To understand it
Because it makes us whole
Just don’t make the darkness
Your home.”
I am the villain to some
And an inspiration to others
And I can only take
Quick glances
At my dark reflections . . .
Today I really see the villain in the mirror
And I remember that he was created from fear.
CH 6/30/24
Comments