Dark Reflections

I can’t ignore my anger anymore

   It stirs deep within me

The side that some people see

   The side that I can only feel sometimes

They say that I have an edge

   That I am rebellious by nature 

They say that I look bored

  Or angry 

They say my energy feels both peaceful and troubled . . .

  I used to think my anger was passion

And maybe it was good fuel

   To grow

But it feels like it might be time to let go

   Of the anger

It feels like I need to free up some space in my soul

   In order to become something more 

They say that I am arrogant 

   And cold

And maybe I am . . .

   They say that I am trouble

They say I keep people at a distance

   They say I made a persona 

So I don’t have to be vulnerable . . .

   I try to remind myself

That conversations are not competitions

   But as I get closer to competing again

I can feel the anger rising

   I can feel the tension that lives within 

I can feel my loneliness 

    I can feel the dirty hole in my soul

I try to hide

   I try to push down my pride

I try to let go

  Of the ego

But the flow

   Tells me to take my shadow

And make him a friend

   The deep

Tells me to take that leap

    The light

Tells me to help the darkness up

   Because if we make it an enemy

It’ll surely conquer us 

   They tell me to trust the spectrum

   To trust it all as a whole 

The light can become brighter

   With more darkness

 The light says to me,

 “See the darkness

   To understand it

Because it makes us whole

   Just don’t make the darkness

Your home.”

I am the villain to some

    And an inspiration to others

  And I can only take

Quick glances

At my dark reflections . . .

Today I really see the villain in the mirror

And I remember that he was created from fear.

CH 6/30/24