Nothing Novel

Alice died.

Shakespeare lied.

Hemingway tried.

Scotty F. was a mess.

Bukowski was a dirty old drunk.

Tom Sawyer grew up to be a corporate lawyer.

Pierce Brown writes steaming piles of turds.

Brando Sando and him won’t ever teach you new words.

Stephen is the King of the closet coke nerds.

Mary Shelly was probably smelly.

David Foster Wallace is stuck in hell, constantly looking for something new to watch on TV.

Lizzie Bennet is full of pride.

Andy Weir should hide, because if I ever see him, I might hit him.

Percy Jackson went missing in action.

J.K. Rowling got the whole world rolling, but those Goblins in Gringotts was definitely her trolling.

Harry Potter grew up to be a shit father.

Edward and Bella, of course, got a divorce.

C.S. Lewis was the truest, so his name I won’t change.

Tolkien was definitely smoking something.

So was Frankie Herbert.

Camu was probably just like you.

Ayn Rand ran for congress.

Denis Johnson was street-level honest.

Robert Jordan was pretty good, I guess,

I just wish he would’ve finished The Wheel before his death.

The American myth thought the country was too fucked up to have kids,

So it’s legacy faded away,

And things got strange.

Superheroes took over.

So did remakes and sequels. 

Nothing new.

Nothing novel.

Just quick hits to cash in a few chips.

The capitalist way.

We feel free to critique and complain,

But the stage will never change . . .

Oda is the goat.

The one who gave the world hope.

The greatest fiction writer in a century.

He created the freest man to ever exist, Monkey D Luffy. 

He’s stirred something within me.

So did Dosketsky.

So did Freddie.

So did JD Sally.

And 

Me,

I 

Grew up to be—. . .

I don’t know the ending of that story . . .

A fighter?

A writer?A father?

A lover?

An uncle? 

A brother?

Five letters

To spell my name.

Four words, a date and a dash on my grave.

I guess they’ll decide what gets associated with my name.

Am I real?

Or just another faker, begging for money and fame?

Another keyboard hater?

Another product or be packaged and sold?

Everything in me squeezed out before I get too old?

A broken man trying to patch the holes in his soul?

Ha ha! You tell me! Ha ha!

I guess 

If I am lucky

I’ll see

What the young punks

Write about me. 

-CH 8/14/25