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Not My Child

Updated: Aug 11, 2023

She married a guy who looks just like me

And now

Their child

Is expected to be born

On my birthday


That kid

Will be more like me

Then him


I know it


I can feel it


I feel like his name

Will have some connection to mine


His life

Will be similar to mine


. . .


Why the hell would she have her kid on my birthday?


These ironies of life

Hurt


. . .


I haven't seen her

In so long

But if I do see her

I want to feel her belly

And I have never wanted to feel a pregnant woman’s belly before.


He’ll kick,

And swim in there,

When I am around

He’ll know

That his mom

Loved me once

And because of that love

She tried to replace me

With an imposter

And because of that


He was born


Because I met his mom one summer,

He was born


Because I was born,

He was


And that’s the way things go,

Don’t they?


We were all born because someone else was.

. . .


He is not my child

He is just the child of a woman I cared for once

A long time ago


He is just a blob of cells right now

But, I hope

Someday

That I get to meet him


He is not my child,

But he will be

Something special


He will be a good boy -


she deserves that.


But then again,

If he is like me,

Then he will be a menace of a toddler.


I guess I am glad I won’t be around for that part.


-CH

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