Not My Child

She married a guy who looks just like me

And now

Their child

Is expected to be born

On my birthday

That kid

Will be more like me

Then him

I know it

I can feel it

I feel like his name

Will have some connection to mine

His life

Will be similar to mine

. . .

Why the hell would she have her kid on my birthday?

These ironies of life

Hurt

. . .

I haven't seen her

In so long

But if I do see her

I want to feel her belly

And I have never wanted to feel a pregnant woman’s belly before.

He’ll kick,

And swim in there,

When I am around

He’ll know

That his mom

Loved me once

And because of that love

She tried to replace me

With an imposter

And because of that

He was born

Because I met his mom one summer,

He was born

Because I was born,

He was

And that’s the way things go,

Don’t they?

We were all born because someone else was.

. . .

He is not my child

He is just the child of a woman I cared for once

A long time ago

He is just a blob of cells right now

But, I hope

Someday

That I get to meet him

He is not my child,

But he will be

Something special

He will be a good boy -

she deserves that.

But then again,

If he is like me,

Then he will be a menace of a toddler.

I guess I am glad I won’t be around for that part.

-CH