Lucky
I don’t really get stressed out about very many things
And the reason for that is
Things just seem
To workout for me
I can’t remember if things started to workout for me
And then I started to believe in it
Or
If I believed it first
And then the things started to workout after the belief
It goes too far back
As far back as I can remember
I feel lucky
Always have
I used to be able to throw a basketball close to the rim and it would find its way in
People would help me when I would need help
Just enough money to survive
Would fall into my lap
On the days when I wasn’t sure how I was going to eat
One door would close
But another would open
I used to be able to throw a football
And every time
A receiver would be there to catch it
I’d pay almost no attention in class
But somehow pass
When I started to write
I had support
Immediately
When I picked up the guitar
It picked me up
I’ve always felt lucky
After I would make a crazy shot in a basketball game
I’d shrug and say
‘It’s better to be lucky than good sometimes.”
I must’ve said that 200 times back then
I also
Don’t just expect to be lucky
But I expect to win
The two have almost always gone together
I’ve done it so many times
I win
And I am lucky
I also
Work extremely hard
Because
Well
I’m going to win
I have to win
What happens then
Is the people around me
Expect me to win too
And if they are on my team
They expect to win
My luck is contagious sometimes
We could be getting absolutely smacked
I mean, just beat down
But I never seem to think that I’ll lose
And a comeback usually does happen
Sure
I do lose sometimes
But
Not that often
I refuse too
This is why
I thought
I was supposed to be
A fighter
I thought
Alone
In a cage
With the lights on me
That I’d be able to show everyone
My magic
But
It hasn’t worked out that way…
In a way
I have been
Incredibly
Unlucky
All the broken bones and surgeries
All the freak injuries…
Shit
A lot of those injuries happened playing basketball and football while I was busy
Being lucky
And winning . . .
Maybe broken bones are the price to pay
To be lucky
Well
Hopefully
I’ve broken enough
For this luck
To stick around
Awhile longer
The things that do stress me out
Only live in my mind
And they are usually about an argument I once had with someone
Or all of possibilities the future has in store for me
Nothing to lose sleep over
But I still do
I still stay awake some nights
Replaying so many moments
And anticipating moments that’ll never happen
Lucky
And
Unlucky
But I like to put my attention on
The lucky part
When I can control it.
-C.H.