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Lucky

I don’t really get stressed out about very many things

And the reason for that is

Things just seem

To workout for me


I can’t remember if things started to workout for me

And then I started to believe in it

Or

If I believed it first

And then the things started to workout after the belief

It goes too far back

As far back as I can remember

I feel lucky

Always have

I used to be able to throw a basketball close to the rim and it would find its way in

People would help me when I would need help


Just enough money to survive

Would fall into my lap

On the days when I wasn’t sure how I was going to eat


One door would close

But another would open


I used to be able to throw a football

And every time

A receiver would be there to catch it


I’d pay almost no attention in class

But somehow pass


When I started to write

I had support

Immediately


When I picked up the guitar

It picked me up


I’ve always felt lucky

After I would make a crazy shot in a basketball game

I’d shrug and say

‘It’s better to be lucky than good sometimes.”

I must’ve said that 200 times back then


I also

Don’t just expect to be lucky

But I expect to win

The two have almost always gone together

I’ve done it so many times

I win

And I am lucky

I also

Work extremely hard

Because

Well

I’m going to win

I have to win


What happens then

Is the people around me

Expect me to win too

And if they are on my team

They expect to win


My luck is contagious sometimes


We could be getting absolutely smacked

I mean, just beat down

But I never seem to think that I’ll lose

And a comeback usually does happen


Sure


I do lose sometimes


But


Not that often


I refuse too


This is why


I thought


I was supposed to be


A fighter


I thought


Alone


In a cage


With the lights on me


That I’d be able to show everyone


My magic


But


It hasn’t worked out that way…


In a way


I have been


Incredibly


Unlucky


All the broken bones and surgeries

All the freak injuries…


Shit


A lot of those injuries happened playing basketball and football while I was busy

Being lucky

And winning . . .


Maybe broken bones are the price to pay


To be lucky


Well

Hopefully

I’ve broken enough

For this luck

To stick around

Awhile longer



The things that do stress me out

Only live in my mind

And they are usually about an argument I once had with someone

Or all of possibilities the future has in store for me


Nothing to lose sleep over


But I still do


I still stay awake some nights


Replaying so many moments


And anticipating moments that’ll never happen


Lucky

And

Unlucky


But I like to put my attention on


The lucky part


When I can control it.


-C.H.

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