Leaving My Life Behind

I wish I could fade away into these words

   And leave my life behind

     For you to experience me 

       When you need me

         For you to experience who I am today 

          And not who I will be

I wish I could leave behind the man who loved you in this poem

      The man you started to get to know

        The man you started to love

        I wish I could leave him right here for you

         So you never forget

          Who I was 

Because

    Who I might become

      Is not a man I reckon you’ll love

      A man who is numb

      And drunk 

       And high

       A man who can barely try

       A man who doesn’t know what the point of doing anything is

           if you aren’t there to share it with

       A bitter man

       A sad man

       A man full of regrets and ‘what if’s’

       A man that won’t be missed

       A man who’s been broke

       And left hoping

        That some day

          We’ll be okay

         A man who got poisoned by hope

          Believing that 

           You were coming back . . .

So I wish I could leave what’s left of me

    In poetry

     Before this version of me 

       Fades away

        Forever 

I wish I could tell you that I love you

    And that I forgive you

      And really mean it

        Before it becomes a lie 

I wish I could leave myself behind

     Before I become just a distorted memory in your mind 

I wish you could remember this immature kid

   Who was so quick to fall in love

     And so quick to trust

       Before he turns into dust 

        And fades away

And I kinda wish you’d save me today

  So our love doesn’t fizzle out 

    So our passion doesn’t change

     I wish you’d save me today

      Before I try to turn the page. 

CH 12/17/25