Lassoing The Moon

I can’t lasso the moon for you, babe.

   I am no gentleman.

I am a degenerate, remember?

   I’m old school, like a cowboy.

    I can’t lasso the moon for you.

No,

    But I will take my pistols,

And I’ll shoot a few chunks off of it for you.

    I’ll climb the tallest mountain,

And point my pistols straight up in the air,

 At a full moon,

   And I’ll squeeze the trigger,

Over and over again.

   Hell, I’ve even howl while I do it.

We can watch the chunks fall off of it together.

   And then we can take my horse, Huckleberry,

And we can go collect those chunks of the moon.

   A piece of it will do, won’t it?

That’s all I can do for you, babe.

   That's all I can do.

I can’t lasso the moon.

    I reckon that’s impossible.

And if anyone ever says they can,

   Well then they are a goddamn liar.

That’s what I think, babe.

   That sounds like some shit a pretend poet would say to you.

You know it’s true, babe.

   No one can lasso the moon.

Shit, babe . . . I don’t know . . .

   I guess I can try for you,

If you really want me to . . .

   But I am telling you,

It’s impossible.

   I bet you heard that in some romantic movie.

Those damn romantics, babe.

   Hope, it is their poison.

It really is, babe.

    But, damn,

I’ll try . . .

   I guess I’ll try.

I’ll try to lasso that damn moon out of the sky for you,

    And pull it out of the sky.

And when it plummets down to earth,

    I’ll take my bare hands,

And I’ll squeeze it.

   I’ll squeeze the hell out of the moon, babe.

I’ll compress it down for you.

   And turn it into a ring.

And then I’ll get down on one knee,

   And I’ll ask you to marry me . . .

. . . How about that, babe??

   Is that romantic enough for you??

Is it cute enough?

    Will it make a good story?

Well, damn, alright then.

   I’ll get to it.

. . .

You coming, darling?

CH 1/12/25