In These Walls
It is my last night in this house
And tonight
Feels like
A stoppage of time
A moment to remember
It’s the awakening
Of the new moon
And the setting
Of the old sun
But tonight
A stillness lingers in the air
Most moments
Pass so quickly
And we hardly notice them fading away from us
But some moments
Stick
And this linear time shit
Spirals and loops
And shoots out into infinity
A chaos star
Exploding in time
Holding a moment
In these walls
And inside
My mind
An everlasting impact
That I’ll probably forget about
Soon
Until
I am in the future
And I remember it again
And I get taken back
To this still moment
In time
That breathes and lives
Inside of my mind
Thank you to these walls
For giving me a place to sleep
And to write
And to get over a witch
And write my first novel
I lived with my brother again
For the first time
Since childhood
In between these walls
I read some books
And had some sex
My dog pissed all over this house
When we first moved in
He had explosive diarrhea once
And it was
Horrifying
I mean
Whatever your imagining
As far as a lot of shit and diarrhea
From a dog goes
Multiply it by ten
Then add three for the hell of it
And that’s how bad the house smelled
And that’s how much shit was everywhere
I’ll remember that shit for the rest of my life . . .
Another moment bookmarked in time
Inside my mind . . .
Of course,
Two days ago
He got into a bag of food
My brother left on the floor
During our move
And vomited way more
Then you can imagine
He got the triple crown
Piss
Shit
And vomit
And he also
Murdered a bathroom door
After he locked himself in the bathroom
And this was on
His birthday
(adoption day)
My brother grew a bad ass garden here
And that witch and I
Threw furniture off of the balcony
That had been left behind by the previous tenants
And watched it shatter into pieces
As it hit the ground
This year has been crazy
So many moments
Feel like
Big ones
And I’m just along for the ride
Thank you, house
For housing me for 10 months
It flew by
But somehow
Also
Lasted forever.
-C.H. 7/8/23