In These Walls

It is my last night in this house

And tonight

Feels like

A stoppage of time

A moment to remember

It’s the awakening

Of the new moon

And the setting

Of the old sun

But tonight

A stillness lingers in the air

Most moments

Pass so quickly

And we hardly notice them fading away from us

But some moments

Stick

And this linear time shit

Spirals and loops

And shoots out into infinity

A chaos star

Exploding in time

Holding a moment

In these walls

And inside

My mind

An everlasting impact

That I’ll probably forget about

Soon

Until

I am in the future

And I remember it again

And I get taken back

To this still moment

In time

That breathes and lives

Inside of my mind

Thank you to these walls

For giving me a place to sleep

And to write

And to get over a witch

And write my first novel

I lived with my brother again

For the first time

Since childhood

In between these walls

I read some books

And had some sex

My dog pissed all over this house

When we first moved in

He had explosive diarrhea once

And it was

Horrifying

I mean

Whatever your imagining

As far as a lot of shit and diarrhea

From a dog goes

Multiply it by ten

Then add three for the hell of it

And that’s how bad the house smelled

And that’s how much shit was everywhere

I’ll remember that shit for the rest of my life . . .

Another moment bookmarked in time

Inside my mind . . .

Of course,

Two days ago

He got into a bag of food

My brother left on the floor

During our move

And vomited way more

Then you can imagine

He got the triple crown

Piss

Shit

And vomit

And he also

Murdered a bathroom door

After he locked himself in the bathroom

And this was on

His birthday

(adoption day)

My brother grew a bad ass garden here

And that witch and I

Threw furniture off of the balcony

That had been left behind by the previous tenants

And watched it shatter into pieces

As it hit the ground

This year has been crazy

So many moments

Feel like

Big ones

And I’m just along for the ride

Thank you, house

For housing me for 10 months

It flew by

But somehow

Also

Lasted forever.

-C.H. 7/8/23