Imaginary (Girl)Friend

The ‘kissing lady’

    was married to the greasy realtor - the 'ICE man'-

       down the street from me.

I call her the ‘kissing lady'

    because she and I were always kissing;

        behind the back of the greasy realtor, of course.

And he was called the 'ICE man' by the neighborhood kids because of how much he looked and behaved like he was a member of the ICE secret police.

On an average day, he’d take his fat mustache,

    and drive his stupid truck,

       and try to make a buck or two

       by being greasy and slimy 

         all over town. 

He'd buy a little broken down shack,

     paint it,

      replace the carpet,

          replace the toilet

           and try to sell it for hundreds of thousands of dollars to some sucker with kids.

      Worst of all, he’d borrow money from her to finance his greed. And she’d give him whatever he would need.

All very slimy business.

Real estate usually is. (Just ask Trump about real estate.)

It's for the money hungry manipulators,

      who have no real skills, or love for the world,

       just the willingness to sell a product for more than it's worth as quickly as they can,

        all while gambling on the unstable housing market, as well as the American economy.

         It’s all very silly. It’s all very shallow. It’s extremely boring. It’s very American. (I would know. This is what my dad did when I was a kid.)

So,

  I didn't feel that bad 

    when I fucked his wife 

        over and over again 

         while he was ‘at work’.

But,

unfortunately,

    the ‘kissing lady’ turned out to be a witch.

   And one night,

     she lured me into her bedroom,

        where the greasy realtor was waiting with a cauldron full of boiling tears he had collected from poor children. 

      His fat greasy mustache had crumbs on it.

     And together 

       the two of them tried to boil me alive.

But I,

     being the man I am,

             survived.

I think I really did love the ‘kissing lady’,

    even though she turned out to be a witch in the end, who only lived in the ‘Imaginary World’,      where love exists. 

I'm not entirely sure she was real.

    It all feels like a dream now . . .

       She did cast several spells on me,

       and had me drink several strange smelling potions.

So, I don't know if it was all games and gimmicks;

        but I know I'm not entirely innocent,

       because if it was real,

         then I enjoyed the hell out of it. 

I can still smell her on my clothes sometimes,

     and I can still feel her skin on my skin;

      even though she was just my imaginary girlfriend,

            who wanted to boil me alive . . . I swear there were times when I saw true love for me in her eyes. 

CH 2/2/26