I'll Be Your Villain

Imagine if the guy

That could whoop your ass

Could also

Write erotica

And poetry

Maybe even

A novel or two?

How much would you hate him?

The ladies swoon for this asshole.

Even though

He is only 5’9’

And okay looking

He’s not ugly most days

We’ll just say that

Now imagine

If he was a little arrogant

But very poor

He’s a starving asshole artists

Such an old cliche

Picture a tough guy

With a big ego

Getting his ass kicked at the gym

By a 145 pound poet

The guy leaves the gym steaming and emasculated

The thing is though, guys

I don’t think I would’ve ever became a writer

If I hadn’t been a fighter first

It had to be this way

So, I’d like to apologize in advance

For sleeping with your wife

It was probably before you two met

And I apologize

For all the attention I'll get

I’m a middle child

And I can imagine

What the attention will do to me . . .

If you thought I was arrogant before,

Just wait until people start praising my brain

I have to imagine

I will be

The villain

In so many stories

They’ll tell about me

That’s okay.

I’ll be your villain.

I’ll sauce you up during boxing

Then I’ll go home

To one of my many women

In my cheap house

With a shitty car parked out front

And I’ll fuck

The women

You only wish you could

You’ll hate me

But except for this moment

This poem

I’ll probably never think of you

So,

I’d like to apologize for apologizing

I have nothing

To be

Sorry for

I am not sorry.

How I make you feel has nothing to do with me.

-C.H.