Change is here
It isn’t coming
It is in the present
It is now
The inevitable changing of this world
The constant changing of self
The flowing and expanding universe
The flowing and growing self
The perception shifts
And the book is different this time around . . .
The deaf dad orders his coffee
He speaks pretty well
You can hardly tell he is deaf
Only the wires wrapping around behind his head give it away
And as they leave
He tells his little son
Maybe 2 years old
To say thank you to the barista’s
And that cute little fucker says it in sign language
As he smiles and waddles away
The lady with the body men dream about
Ask the man if he needs to breath
If he needs to slow down
She tells him to think of something he hates
“I hate Forrest Gump,” he says
“. . . The movie??”
“Yeah. It’s full of bullshit American propaganda and fetishes being an–”
“Great! Think of Forrest Gump!” she says to him between thrust.
“Okay . . . Holy shit! It’s working!”
“Good. Keep thinking about Forrest Gump and keep fucking me!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Afterwards he tells her that she has a body like the Pokemon Mewtwo
And that is one of the highest compliments a man can give a woman
The old U.S Army veteran thinks he needs forgiveness like a hole in the head
As he pulls his cart full of treasure
Down the empty street
The sun is creeping up
And another day is starting
Soon he’ll walk to the street corner
And hold up his sign
Asking strangers for money
So he can go buy a pack of American Spirits
Dog food for his dog, Mate
And a burger from Mcdonald's
Yes, it’s another day for the old retired U.S. Army veteran
Who will start to drink again in a few hours
In hopes that he won’t see the faces of the people he killed
For a country
That is presently
Imploding
The father looks at his son and sees everything he could become
He sees himself in his son
He sees his dreams before he gave up on them
He sees all the potential
If he can teach his son to succeed where he failed
If he can prepare him better than his father had prepared him
If he can instill a will that won’t ever quit
Then his son can do the things that he couldn’t
And is it such a crime for a father to want his son to be better than himself?
But the son has his own plans
He has his own path
And the fathers ‘wisdom’ is lost on him
She asks him why he is scared to love
And he tells her that he thinks it’s because he will lose a part of himself
When he loves
That he’ll have to compromise who he wants to become
In order to love
He says that love is irrational, and we can’t control it; and that it's our unconscious that chooses who we fall for; and he doesn’t know what he’ll become if he falls in it again . . .
He tells her that he has his own road to go down
And he can’t just ask someone to jump in the car with him
Love is two paths merging into one
Going somewhere together with someone
He can’t change his course
It’s too late for that
He has to see it through
And if that means he has to be alone
Then he will be happy alone
That he is
Presently
Happy
To be
Alone . . .
That’s what he tells her
As she lay naked in his arms
In his warm bed
While his dog sleeps by her feet, snoring.
CH 7/30/24
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