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Writer's pictureClint Haugen

Happy To Be

Change is here

It isn’t coming

   It is in the present 

It is now

   The inevitable changing of this world

The constant changing of self

   The flowing and expanding universe 

The flowing and growing self 

   The perception shifts

And the book is different this time around . . .

   

The deaf dad orders his coffee

   He speaks pretty well 

You can hardly tell he is deaf

  Only the wires wrapping around behind his head give it away

And as they leave

   He tells his little son

Maybe 2 years old

   To say thank you to the barista’s

And that cute little fucker says it in sign language 

  As he smiles and waddles away



The lady with the body men dream about

   Ask the man if he needs to breath

If he needs to slow down

    She tells him to think of something he hates

“I hate Forrest Gump,” he says

   “. . . The movie??”

“Yeah. It’s full of bullshit American propaganda and fetishes being an–”

   “Great! Think of Forrest Gump!” she says to him between thrust.

“Okay . . . Holy shit! It’s working!”

    “Good. Keep thinking about Forrest Gump and keep fucking me!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

   Afterwards he tells her that she has a body like the Pokemon Mewtwo

And that is one of the highest compliments a man can give a woman


The old U.S Army veteran thinks he needs forgiveness like a hole in the head

    As he pulls his cart full of treasure

Down the empty street 

   The sun is creeping up

And another day is starting 

    Soon he’ll walk to the street corner 

And hold up his sign

   Asking strangers for money

So he can go buy a pack of American Spirits 

   Dog food for his dog, Mate

And a burger from Mcdonald's 

   Yes, it’s another day for the old retired U.S. Army veteran 

Who will start to drink again in a few hours

   In hopes that he won’t see the faces of the people he killed

For a country 

   That is presently

     Imploding 


The father looks at his son and sees everything he could become

   He sees himself in his son

He sees his dreams before he gave up on them 

   He sees all the potential 

If he can teach his son to succeed where he failed

   If he can prepare him better than his father had prepared him

If he can instill a will that won’t ever quit 

    Then his son can do the things that he couldn’t

And is it such a crime for a father to want his son to be better than himself?

    But the son has his own plans

He has his own path

   And the fathers ‘wisdom’ is lost on him


She asks him why he is scared to love

   And he tells her that he thinks it’s because he will lose a part of himself

When he loves

   That he’ll have to compromise who he wants to become

In order to love

  He says that love is irrational, and we can’t control it; and that it's our unconscious that chooses who we fall for; and he doesn’t know what he’ll become if he falls in it again . . .

   He tells her that he has his own road to go down

And he can’t just ask someone to jump in the car with him

   Love is two paths merging into one 

Going somewhere together with someone 

   He can’t change his course

It’s too late for that

   He has to see it through

And if that means he has to be alone

   Then he will be happy alone

That he is

  Presently

  Happy

To be 

   Alone . . .

That’s what he tells her

   As she lay naked in his arms

In his warm bed

   While his dog sleeps by her feet, snoring.


CH 7/30/24

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