God's Best Joke

If I could

I would

    apologize

         for the lies.

  If I could

    I would 

     tell her that I am sorry

        for pushing her away.

    If I could

      I would 

       call her

       and explain

      that I can still fall for her;

      every time she pulls me back in,

         I fall more in love with her,

         and when she pulls away,

           my love evaporates.

It had to end.

   It had to.

    I had to push her away.

   I just wish now I could say

       I am sorry it had to be this way . . .

If I could

   I would

     do it all again

      but this time

       I wouldn’t let it end like this.

No, 

   I’d save us

     before we took it too far.

If I could

   I would

     do it all again

      just

        very

         different . . .

But, 

   we don’t get the past back,

      so this is what we have to live with . . .

If I could

   I would

     apologize for the lies,

       but pushing her away

        was the only way

         to sever the soul tie.

So I’ll disappear with the fading smoke,

   and become God’s best joke.

CH 2/23/26